I regret they my JOWs this week are
late. I was under the weather a bit
followed by the traditional Thanksgiving activities which has me off
schedule. I am very fortunate that I
have been unusually healthy; and make no mistake I am grateful for that. I did learn to never, under any
circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. But my little illness got me thinking about good health in
general and the lengths some people will go to achieve it. Think of all those health nuts in the
hospital– dying of nothing in particular.
Older readers will remember the late Adele Davis who wrote a series of
books such as “Let’s Eat Right and Stay Healthy”
She died abruptly at 70, which was a bad career move. Most of us are not exactly obsessed with a
healthy lifestyle. We have all seen the
overweight diabetic scarfing down a jelly donut or the smoker turning off his
oxygen tank so he can have another cigarette. Their view is that it is their
body and in a free society they have a right to abuse it any way they want. Their view is that life should NOT
be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an
attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay
in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn
out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
On the other end of the spectrum are
the folks like militant Vegans. Vegan
get their name from the Latin term ‘vega’ which means smug and self-righteous. How do you find a vegan at a dinner
party? Don’t worry, they’ll let you
know.
Vegans do tend to take themselves and
their lifestyle very seriously which of course makes them prime targets for
barbs.
Such as the posting on a typical
college post board for “Vegan Support Group” with a picture of healthy
veggies. Right next it was a posting with
a picture of a T-Rex and the heading “Carnivore? Chances are you don’t need a
wimpy support group.”
Although there are lots of polite
vegans who just want to eat what they want to eat (see comment about jelly
donuts above) there are too many who will tell you something like “”Oh, no , I
am not fussy at all. I’ll eat anything;
as long as it is gluten-free, dairy-free, low-carb, low-fat, low-calorie,
sugar-free, unprocessed, fair trade, raw and organic.”
A lot of my friends are health
conscious which is a good thing – I hope to have a lot of mourners at my
funeral. Actually I do try to take of
myself but that does not mean I am above making fun of those who also work at
staying fit. I heard a woman at the gym say you have to work like a horse and
sweat like a pig to look like a fox. But
you have to be careful – vigorously exercising for just 15 minutes a day raises
your risk of posting insipid inspirational quotes on Facebook by 40%.
+++++++++++++++++++++
I used to live in St. Petersburg,
Florida (city of the newly wed and the nearly dead). The local paper would often do articles on the
elderly. One old gent was coming up on this
hundredth birthday and was asked about his lifestyle.
“Well, you could say I am a health
nut,” he replied. I have never smoked or
drunk alcohol. I am in bed by 10 and I
walk three miles a day.”
“But I understand yourbrother had the
same habits and he died at 70. So how
come this regime did not work for him?” asked the reporter.
“All I can say is he didn’t keep it up
long enough.”
--------------------------
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final
word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those
conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.