There has been a lot of discussion lately about artificial intelligence which led me to thinking about robots. They are everywhere but no longer look like Robbie the Robot. They are disguised as automobiles or little circular vacuum cleaners. Here are a few jokes more or less about robots and artificial intelligence in general.
Scientists
have proof of a planet populated entirely by robots.
They
call it Mars.
What
is a robot’s favorite dance?
The Roomba.
Where
do baby robotic vacuums come from?
The Woomba.
What
do you feed a hungry robot?
Mega-bites.
Did
you hear about the baby robot’s first word? “Data!”
Why
can’t AI replace managers?
It’s not designed to be useless.
If
a Norwegian robot analyzed a bird, then it…
Scandinavian.
I
got a new robot dog last week.
Its name is Dogmatic.
What
name should you never call a robot?
Rusty.
I
finally fulfilled my dream to become a half-cyborg!
It did cost me an arm and a leg, though.
What’s
a robot’s favorite food?
Microchips.
A
robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have?"
The robot says, "Well, it's been a long day, and I need to loosen up. How
about a screwdriver?"
Judge:
"So, Mr. Robot. Your neighbor accused you of stealing their electricity to
power yourself. How do you plea?"
Robot, the defendant: "Guilty as charged."
A
robot tried to rob a bank but was caught when its battery died.
Police
have no plan to charge the suspect.
How
do robots pay for things?
With cache.
What
do you call a robot in a boat?
A row-bot.
What
do you call a robot in a boat?
A row-bot
What
would you call a Texas robot?
Tex
Mechs.
How
did the robot vacuum the house?
Roomba
room.
Nike
just announced it will now be using robots instead of children to make shoes.
Unfortunately,
the robots will be made by children.
An
analog robot was asked what gender it was.
It
said it was non-binary.
What
does a robot say when it has to use the restroom?
Peepoop.
What
sound does a robot frog make?
Rivet
Rivet
I
just saw a robot charging itself
It
was re-volting!
An
AI algorithm walks into a bar and says:
“I’ll have what everyone else is having.”
I
tried dating a sex bot, but she was too high maintenance.
Which
kind of robot transforms into a tractor?
A
trans-farmer.
What
do you call a pirate droid?
Argh2-D2
Why
do so many robots live in Africa?
‘Cause
Botswana.
What
do you call an invisible droid?
C-through-P0.
What
happened when they shut down the robot highway?
You
take the R2-Detour
Did
you hear about the writing robot who combined six Russian novels into one big
novel?
It's a long story.
What
do you call a robot that converts men to Sikhism?
The Turbanator.
Why
don’t robots have any brothers?
They all have transisters.
What
do you call robots that switch genders?
Transformers.
A
robot tried to start a conversation with an attractive waitress
But he wasn't so successful in doing so.
The error message read:
Error: failed to establish connection with server.
There
was once a robot whose job it was to organize all the shelves of a massive
library that had thousands of books. Every day, he did his job without missing
a beat. One day, though, he didn’t show up to work. The librarians were all
perplexed that a robot would do something like that…
Turns out he had become shelf aware.
A
robot man walks into a robot restaurant.
A
robot waiter approaches and asks him for his robot order.
The robot man orders a robot steak.
The robot waiter asks him how he wants his robot steak prepared.
The robot man replies, "Weld on".
Here
are some robotic knock knock jokes
Knock,
knock
Who’s
there?
Art.
Art
who?
R2D2
Knock,
knock
Who’s
there?
Anne.
Anne
who?
Anne
Droid
Knock,
knock
Who’s
there?
Si.
Si
who?
Cyborg
Knock
knock.
Who's there?
Art.
Art who?
Artificial intelligence!
A
man ordered for a voice automated robot car that does anything he tells it to
do correctly without any error.
He
got the car and started sending it on errands. He became very proud of what the
car could do without mistakes.
One
day, he was home and his wife told him to tell the car to go and pick up the
children from school as she was very tired.
The
man agreed and said to the car, “Car, go and bring my children from school.”
The
car went and didn’t return in time as expected, they knew something must be
wrong.
Several
hours later he and his wife stepped outside they saw the car coming with an
overload of children.
The
car parked right in front of them and said, “These are your children, sir.”
In
the car were their landlady’s two daughters, their choir mistress’s son, his
wife’s best friend’s daughter, and their neighbor’s son.
The
wife said angrily, “I demand to know if these are all your children?!?”
The
man asked her calmly, “Just as soon as you tell me why our children aren’t in
the car.”
And
finally, an off topic ending.
An
old man passed away peacefully in his sleep after a long illness
His
wife called the county to come pick up his body.
The county operator answered "Yes, ma'am, I'm very sorry for your loss.
Can you tell me your address?"
"Yes, we live at 148 Eucalyptus Street."
"Can you spell that for me?"
"Y-U...no, wait, that's not right...E-Y-C...no, no that's not
right...Tell you what, I'll just drag him over to Oak Street and you can pick
him up there."
