Just Roll with it JOW #1247

I had the opportunity to sit in a millet field last weekend waiting for some dove to come in and let me shoot and miss them.  While sitting there, with nothing much to do, I could not help but notice some industrious dung beetles rolling their little balls of poo around. Dung beetles are the ultimate recyclers, turning dung into a valuable resource. They’re the original “waste management” experts.  As is my wont, I began thinking about how humorous the entire concept of dung beetles is; well worthy of a few jokes to start my JOW off with this week. 

 

Dung beetles are great at solving problems. They always know how to “roll” with it.

 

Why did the Dung Beetle quit work?

He was all pooped out!

 

Dung beetle walks into a bar....

"Is this stool taken?"

 

What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?

"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"

 

Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?

Because the clerk sold him shampoo.

 

Why was the dung beetle late for the party?

He was on dooty.

 

Two dung beetles meet

The first one asks; “How’s it going?”
The other replies; “Same sh1t, different day.”

 

Two dung beetles go out for lunch

They went into a restaurant and came out almost immediately.

They went into another place and as they're eating, one says "This is good sh1t"!
The other replies, "Yeah, that last place was crap".

 

One dung beetle walks into a bar and nobody cares...

A hundred dung beetles walk into a bar, and everyone loses their sh1t.

 

Today I saw a rabbit that had beetles all over it.

It was a Bugs Bunny.

 

Why didn’t the butterfly go to the dance?

It was a mothball.

 

What do frogs order at a restaurant?

French flies.

 

 

What is a dung beetles favorite candy?

Feces Pieces

 

What is a Dung Beetle's favorite coffee?

A Crappuccino

 

How do dung beetles stay in shape? They do “dung-bell” exercises.

 

My friend and I opened a gym for dung beetles. He thinks the business is failing and wants to quit, but I refused and told him, “No way; we’re still working out the bugs.”

 

A man went to the doctor complaining that he kept seeing some insect buzzing around him. The doctor just told him not to worry; it was just a bug that was going around.

 

Two beetles are born as brothers.

One travels the world, makes friends, and is an inspiration to insectsv.

The other doesn’t do much of anything.

He was the lesser of two weevils.

 

A zombie is checking for an overseas flight...

At the security check the TSA is scanning his luggage, running him through metal detectors, etc. Finally, an attendant stops him at the gate.
"Sir, you're absolutely crawling with bugs. You're going to have to store those in your suitcase or ship them separately."
"Oh, no, it's okay." He says. "These are my carrion beetles."

 

A snail saw a slug looking sad whilst watching a couple of beetles scurrying about having fun.

"What's up mate, life in the slow lane getting you down?", asked the snail.
The slug just looked at him and replied, "No. Surely it's obvious why I'm so down? I've had my home repossessed!"

 

An etymologist, an entomologist, and an etiologist walk into a bar.

"What'll it be?" The bartender asks.
"I'll have a beer," the etymologist says. "A word which comes from Latin *bibere*, meaning "to drink".
"I'll have a Campari," the entomologist says. "It was originally dyed with crushed beetles!"
The bartender gets them their drinks. "And for you, sir?" he asks the third man.
"I'm just wondering how I got here," the etiologist replies.

(I bet that sends to the dictionary to find out that an etiologist studies beginnings of things.)

 

There are two cavemen sitting by a fire.

One is eating some bugs he found, and he says to the other, "You like beetles?"
His friend says, "No, *CRUNCH CRUNCH*, me more of a stones guy."

 

What has two legs and lives off dead beetles?

Yoko Ono.

 

Typing of Yoko Ono, she recently released a new album at age 91.  Amazingly, the quality of her voice hasn’t changed at all.

And thinking of the Beatles, they just brought out a new album.  It’s mostly just drums and bass.

 

A guy goes into a record shop and asks "Do you have any sound effects albums of insect noises? Crickets, cicadas, beetles, that sort of thing?"
Store guy: "Yeah only this secondhand vinyl, but it should be perfect."
Guy buys the record but he's back to the shop within the hour, says "Sorry mate this record is no good. It's just 45 minutes of buzzing, it's complete crap. "
Store guy: "Oh, that's the B side."

 

Finally, I did some driving last week and so have this one to finish up.

This guy is driving along, when he passes a sign that says, “Slow Down - 20 miles” He groans, as that is way too slow for that stretch of road but slows down to 20. Half an hour later, he passes another sign that says, “Slow Down - 10 miles” He starts to complain and cuss to himself in the car but slows down to a crawl. Another half hour of boredom passes before he spots a sign that says, “Slow Down - 5 miles” OH COME ON! yells the guy as he rests his foot on the brake. Finally, he sees “Slow Down - 1 mile”.  As he rounds a bend he sees a sign that says, “Welcome to Slow Down, Texas”