Monday, June 17, 2024

Boomer JOW #1234

 There is a lot of discussion about the various generations these days. I am a Boomer, 

the term used to describe the large number of kids born following WWII. Heck I am a

Boomer to the fourth power: a straight male WASP Boomer veteran.  This

doesn’t mean I am a superb Boomer. I am just an Ok Boomer. (In case you don’t get it, the

phrase “Okay Boomer” is a dismissive phrase by younger generations which essentially

means ‘whatever’) Here are some movie examples:

Elsa: “You can’t marry a man you just met.”

Anna: “OK boomer.”

 

Thanos: “I am inevitable.”

Iron Man: “OK boomer.”

 

More ‘Okay Boomer’ jokes:

A man told his son that when he dies, he wants his ashes to be made into fireworks so he

can go out with a bang.

The son replied, “Ok, Boomer.”

What do you call a firework that’s not very impressive?

Okay boomer.

I told my kid that -459.67 Fahrenheit is the coldest anything can get.

He just said, “0 K, Boomer.”


My dad said there’d been an explosion at the potassium factory.

K boomer.

You younger kids should respect Boomers. We passed school without Google.

Boomers: the OG time travelers who lived through it all.

If a Boomer falls in the forest, do they hear a vinyl record?

Boomer wisdom: Press “Ctrl+Alt+Del” on life’s problems.

Boomers survived Y2K with our VCRs intact.

Boomers know the true art of waiting for film to develop.

Fun fact: Boomers were the first to discover that “selfies” were possible with a timer and a

tripod.

Boomers know that the iconic prism cover of Dark Side of the Moon is not a Pride symbol.


Did you hear about the old guy who gave toddlers dynamite?

He was a Baby Boomer.

What do you call a 60-year-old that hasn’t reached puberty?

A late boomer.

What do you call a 60-year-old flying in a jet fighter?

A sonic boomer.

How do boomers view social media? 

Like a virtual high school reunion, minus the awkward dance moves!

How do boomers respond to selfie sticks? 

They raise an eyebrow and say, “Back in our day, we asked strangers to take our photos!”

How do boomers feel about QR codes? They chuckle and say, “We had our own version of

codes – they were called barcodes!”

Boomer equation: E+MC2 Energy = Milk * Coffee2

What happens when a Karen and a Boomer crash into each other?

KaBoom!

How do boomers change a lightbulb?

They don’t — they just keep talking about how great the old one was.

But if they do, they just hire someone to do it and complain about how back in the day a bulb used to cost a nickel.

Boomers give great tips.

They don’t accept change.

Boomers at 26: “It’s great to be four years into my job with great benefits, a pension, and

job security.”

Millennials at 26: “If I name my cat Bitcoin, maybe she’ll get VC backing and I can make ad revenue off her Instagram account and that’ll be enough to pay off my student loans.”

An older man called his son to tell him he’s coming back home after all these years.

The Boomer rang.

It was easy to block people back in my day. We just took the phone off the hook.

A Gen Z kid and a boomer walk into a bar.  They sit down and the Gen Z kid orders from the gluten free vegan menu and the boomer orders a T-Bone steak.

They start chatting and the Gen Z kid says that social justice issues are the biggest problem facing the world, and that the white supremacist patriarchy is a plague on society.

The boomer waves this off and says the kids these days are just too sensitive, and that he fought for civil rights in the sixties and did his part.

They go back and forth on this for a while, and finally the Gen Z kid says, “We’re just not gonna settle this. We don’t see eye to eye. You’re too old and out of touch and I’m too young and inexperienced.  What we need to do is ask a Millennial with a PhD in sociology for their opinion."  

The boomer says, “That’s a great idea!” and yells, “HEY BARTENDER, C’MERE!”


Some non-Boomer jokes:

Killing only two birds with one stone? Pffft…. The all-time record is held by the asteroid

that hit the earth 67 million years ago.

My dad used to always say, “You should fight fire with fire!” Which is probably why he got

thrown out of the fire department.

I always gave 100% at work

Monday – 14%

Tuesday – 26%

Wednesday – 32%

Thursday – 15%

Friday – 13%

Name a city that changed your life.

Wuhan.

To celebrate April Fool’s Day CNN published an actual real news story.

I will never understand guys who pay dominatrixes to degrade them. Just get married and

fold the towels wrong


Nowadays you teach your kids the magic words to get what you want. “I’m offended.”

And finally:


Once, a young boy decided to try out for the school band. He picked up the baton and directed it with such intensity that every instrument sounded out of tune. The music teacher, puzzled, asked another student to take the lead.

The result? Perfect harmony! The boy, looking dejected, approached the teacher, "Is it me?  Am I doing something wrong?"

The teacher smiled and said, "No, you're just a bad conductor."

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