Post office JOW #1048

The post office has been in the news lately.  I haven’t done any jokes about the post office lately so it’s time.  I mean everyone talks about the post office.  But nobody ever talks about the pre office.  At any rate, here are a few postal-related jokes.

‘’’’’

The Post Office has been mis-delivering mails lately.....this issue has to be seriously addressed.

“””””

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?

They had pictures of lawyers on them ...and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

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Did you know if you rearrange all the letters in Post Office - they get really annoyed

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Never get stuck behind the devil in a Post Office queue

For the devil can take many forms

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The post office hired me to find innovative ways to mail things.

My job is pushing the envelope.

……

Why don't women work at the post office?

It's a mail dominated industry.

>>>>> 

I can't believe how stupid that guy in the Post Office was. He said that my Parcel was too heavy and that I needed to put more stamps on it - like that's going to make it lighter.

<<<<<<< 

I got a letter that was just addressed to "You Idiot".

What bothers me is that the post office knew where to deliver it.

^^^^^^

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check.  Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner.  Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.
Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.  The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.  A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.
All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was $4 missing.  I think those bastards at the Post Office must have stolen it.

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A guy goes to the U. S. Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, “Have you been in the service?”
“Yes,” he says. “I was in Vietnam for three years.”
The interviewer then asks, “Are you disabled in any way?”
The guy says, “Yes 100%… a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off.”
The interviewer tells the guy, “I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 A.M.”
The guy is puzzled and says, “If the hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. then why do you want me to come in at 10:00 A.M.?”
“This is a government job” the interviewer says.  “For the first two hours we stand around scratching our balls…what will you do?”

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During the rush of the holiday season, Sarah completely forgot to mail a Christmas card to her best friend.  She hurries into the post office with a card and asks the postal service worker for a first-class stamp.
“Do I have to put this stamp on myself?” she asks.
“No,” the postal employee replies. “You can put it right on the envelope.”

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An old lady is turning 100.  She is in great health for her age and regularly walks to the market, post office and the bank with no problems. Since she is living in a small town it is a big deal for the town. On her birthday she is visited by the mayor who presents her with a badge honoring her as the oldest person in the town. There is also the local TV station doing a report for the evening news about her. The reporter asks her:
“What is your secret for the long and healthy life?”
“It's simple, - she says - never have I in my entire life argued with another person.”
“That is impossible!” the reporter says.
“You know, you're right.” says the lady.

 

And finally

A delightful angelic little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies room of the gas station.
As he stood there, he was approached by a man who asked, "Sonny, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"
The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street two blocks and turn to your right. It's on the left."
The man thanked the boy kindly, complimented him on how bright he was and said, "I'm the new pastor in town. If you and your mommy come to church on Sunday, I'll show you how to get to Heaven."
"Really? You can't even find the Post Office."