Dramatic JOW! #1228

 The world is so full of drama at every level these days.  So, I might as well embrace and salute it.  Here are some dramatic funny jokes.  Note that I did not say they were dramatically funny.  I end with a joke about plant-based drama. I hope these jokes bring a smile.

What do you get when you cross a drama student with a comedian?

A stand-up tragedian.

 

A thief walked into a theatre and stole the spotlight.

 

Why did the drama teacher break up with the math teacher?

Their relationship had too many problems.

How do you know if someone is a drama enthusiast?

Don’t worry, they’ll tell you… dramatically.

 

What's the difference between a drama student and a government savings bond?

The government savings bond eventually matures and earns money.

 

My brother has been writing a stage drama about a dictionary and a thesaurus. I'm really looking forward to it.

I love a play on words.

 

Used to have this drama teacher who always said, “Raising your hand was a waste of time.”

He was hands down the weirdest teacher I’ve ever had.

 

My drama professor said I had to write 5,000 words on Robert De Niro

I never got a chance because his private bodyguards wrenched me off him.

 

The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.

 A man can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If a woman told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material.

 

What's a cow’s favorite TV drama?

Graze Anatomy

 

Boy comes home and tells dad that he's got a role in school drama playing a married man.

Dad. "don't worry, one day you'll get a speaking part.”

 

There is a new TV show where a bunch of stoners just sit around having mild arguments.

It’s a mellow drama.

 

Have you heard about the troupe of actors who supported themselves by making and selling camel milk cheese?

The called themselves the Drama Dairy.

 

People wondered how Elmer Fudd managed to smuggle chocolate into movie theaters.

Let's just say, he had a few Twix up his sleeve...

 

The movie “Lincoln” made almost $300 million in movie theatres, which was a surprise because historically Lincoln doesn’t do too well in theatres.

 

Well before the show has started, an usher walked by and noticed a man lying sprawled across three seats at a posh theater.

“Sir, you're only allowed one seat, can you please sit up?"
The man groaned, but stayed where he is. The usher becoming impatient with the man said "Sir, if you don't get up, I will need to get my manager involved"
Again the man just groans, which infuriates the usher, so he marched off to get the manager. In a few moments he returned with the manager and they both repeatedly attempt to move him, but with no success. It was at this point that the manager called the police.
Moments later, a police officer arrives and approaches the man, "Alright buddy, where's your proper seat?"
With pain in his voice the man replied, "In the balcony."

 

A girl goes to a movie theater…with her dog.
The movie didn’t have a happy ending and many people were crying at the end of the movie and her dog was crying as well. A lady sitting next to her saw the dog crying and said “That’s absolutely amazing. I can’t believe your dog is crying”
She responded: “I can’t believe either, because he didn’t like the book.”

 

John the archaeologist is digging under a theatre and discovers 5 pots of gold coins...

Ecstatic, he tells his lead archaeologist
"Graham, I've found 3 pots of gold coins!"
"What's that John? You've found 2 pots of gold coins?"
"That's what I said, a pot of gold coins!"

 

Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey

Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTUS?

 

And at last, a semi-dramatic joke.
Once upon a time, there were two onions - Mr. & Mrs. Onion. One day, the wife-onion tearfully - and joyfully - breaks the news to her husband; they're going to have a tiny baby-onion together. A shallot, if you will. The day comes of the birth, and no complications - a tiny, healthy baby onion is born to two proud parents. Seeing this little bundle of oniony love in their arms causes them to fall deeper in love than ever.
Over the next few years, husband-and-wife-onions' lives are fantastic. He's prospering at work, she's really enjoying taking some time to raise the baby-onion, and over time the baby-onion grows into a hale and hearty toddler-onion, who then becomes a child-onion.
One day, the idyll of the onions' lives is shattered when tragedy strikes.
The father-onion is at work, and mother-onion is washing dishes and watching her child play in the yard. She glances away to take another plate and turns her vision back to the yard just in time to see her child wander into the adjacent road and get hit by a truck.
She screams, runs out, and calls an ambulance.
The ambulance comes and rushes the frail child-onion to the Onion Hospital. Being in such a critical condition, he is rushed straight into the operating room, and mommy-and-daddy onion can do little but wait outside the theatre hoping for some news.
After an agonizing five-hour wait, the weary-looking doctor-onion emerges in surgical garb, ready to impart news.
"So, Mr. and Mrs. Onion. Would you like the good news or the bad news?"
The couple ponder it for a moment, and then decide: "The good news, please."
The doctor-onion regards them briefly, and then says, "Well, the good news is we've managed to stabilize your child. The bad news is... he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life."