Familial JOW #431

What with Thanksgiving and all my JOW is based on mostly family stuff.

MaryEllen sent this one.
A little girl learned to read at a very early age. She was fascinated by the written word and read everything in the house. One day she asked her Mommy about the napkins she had found in the bathroom.
Embarrassed, her Mom told her those were “special napkins’ and so thought the matter was put to rest. That is until Thanksgiving. Imagine her mother’s surprise when she came to the Thanksgiving table with her family to the table and found every setting carefully set by her young daughter with the “special napkins.” Even the tapes had been pulled out to enclose the silverware.
So you see, there are sometimes disadvantages even to having a smart and thoughtful daughter.
==================

A little boy and his father are playing with toy cars, the father has the police car and pretends to pull over the car that the boy is playing with.
"Do you have a driver’s license?" asks the father.
"No," says the boy.
"Are you resisting arrest?" he asks.
The boy hesitates before he says, "No ... I'm not sleepy yet."
=================
After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my six siblings and me - all under age 14. Collecting our many suitcases, the eight of us entered the cramped customs area.
A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?"
"Yes, sir," my mother said with a sigh. "They're all mine."
The customs agent began his interrogation: "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?"
"Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now."
The official allowed us to pass without opening a single suitcase.

================
A young woman brings home her fiancée to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancée to his study for a drink.
"So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.
"I am in seminary," he replies, “I am going to be a preacher.”
"A preacher. Hmmm," the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?"
"I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."
"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father.
"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us."
"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"
"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiancée.
The conversation proceeded like this for a while, the young idealist insists that God will provide.
Later, the mother asks, "How did it go, Honey?"
The father answers, "He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I'm God."
=================
At one point during a Little League game, the coach asked of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is the enjoyment of playing together?"
The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"
Again the little boy nodded.
"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother."


Tom