Christmas JOW #435

In earlier years, Americans would send one another Christmas Cards, often great numbers of Christmas Cards. It was a way of acknowledging people you had perhaps not seen in the past year. As our society become more mobile, these cards gave us a chance to catch up with old friends we no longer saw on a regular basis. Email has done much too drastically reduce this tradition. For one thing, it is cheap and easy to stay in touch. For another, why use snail mail when you can send an email to all your friends and acquaintances at the same time.
I think of it as a new and greener way to share the holidays.
So this is our Pinney familial Holiday Update. (You can skip down the jokes at the bottom if you wish.

By our standards, 2008 was a quiet year. There were no births, no deaths, and no weddings. Ruth stayed busy and I stayed employed. And though our life savings took a big hit with the economy tightening up, we managed to end the year more or less in the black. Of course Ike was a Big Deal, leaving us without power for almost a week, and costing us an unexpectedly large amount to get rid of the damaged trees on our property. Make no mistake, The Woodlands got hammered. Adding to the chaos, we were renovating our kitchen when the tempest struck. On the upside, there was no real flooding in our area, no one we knew was hurt, and the entire experience was a real bonding experience for our friends and neighbors. People really did help one another during those trying times.
The big news was that I had to be hospitalized for the first time since I got my wisdom teeth out in ’68 when we discovered I had a big old brain tumor inside my skull. I was most fortunate that they were able to split my head open and remove said tumor with out warping things inside there any more than they already were. My surgery and subsequent recovery were both very successful. Thank you for all the prayers and support you gave me.
Following my recovery we went on a nice vacation to San Francisco and the wine country to visit friends (and let Dr. Ruth attend an Olfactory Conference). On the hobby front, I choked on the very last stage of the Louisiana State IDPA Pistol Championships and wound up finishing second. ‘Choked’ may not be the right word. I stopped for lunch before that stage and man was it good. I had seconds of the crawfish gumbo and was just too sluggish and, well, contented to shoot my best. I also was able to get my second book published and finish writing my third.
Perhaps next year will be a return to the dramatic twists and turns we have had in previous years; but probably not. I figure it is about time we settled down a bit.


Merry Christmas & Happy New Year
From Tom & Ruth Pinney

Now to the Jokes

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !
How do you make an Aggie laugh on Boxing Day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !
What does Santa Claus suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !
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A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a former communist party official walking toward them.
"Let's not fight about it," the man said, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he answered and walked on. But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!"
To which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
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Ten things to say about gifts you don't like
10. Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes that would've fit.
9. It would be a shame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this from me.
8. Perfect for wearing in the basement.
7. Well, well, well...
6. I really don't deserve this.
5. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!
4. I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
3. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
2. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.
1. To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
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A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.
Just to see what would happen, on the twins' birthday their father loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.
That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.
"Why are you crying?" the father asked.
"Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken." answered the pessimist twin.
Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. "What are you so happy about?" he asked.
To which his optimist twin replied, "There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"