Year End JOW #436

Well, 2008 is behind us now, or to put it in a topical context, has been “downsized”. Dick recommended some comments about the financial situation we find ourselves in as 2009 looms. It was a good year locally, but a bad year for many people as the elaborate confidence game played by investment bankers and CEOs was revealed. The party may be over for these executives; many of them lost their jobs and will now have to eke out the rest of their days on the millions of dollars they were paid to wreck our economy. For example the CEO of Lehman Brothers destroyed one of the oldest and most prestigious investment firms in the world in just four short years. He earned ~$480 MILLION dollars for this performance. The CEO of Washington Mutual was very aggressive in telling his people to loan money to anyone, no matter what their credit score, betting on the continuing rise in housing prices. His bank collapsed. He walked away with $100 million dollars.
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First, a joke that I thought was too good to pass up.

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The guy knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative, macho fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in fashion sense.
He walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
''Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
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This just in:
Bush to Put FEMA in Charge of Wall Street Rescue
President Bush compounded widespread concern about a domestic economy on the verge of collapse today when he announced that FEMA would coordinate the 700 billion dollar bailout of Wall Street.
"We have our ‘best’ people on it," Bush insisted, causing the market to slide two thousand points late this morning. Bush and his staff expressed surprise that his administration’s assurances have done little to buoy confidence in the economy.
"None of the folks in charge of the bailout ever worked with horses or anything," said a perplexed White House staffer.
Circumstances on Wall Street remained dire today. Thousands of traders and bankers have been without money, gold ingots, or economic power for almost a week now, and conditions in hastily constructed "trailer banks" have been horrible.
"There are hardly any bathroom attendants here at all," complained one temporary resident, Preston Brunswick III, a complex derivatives trader who "barely cleared a million" last year.
Compounding the crisis, trucks full of relief money have been mysteriously stalled in Alabama, and FEMA officials were at a loss to explain why it was so hard to get the "Benjamins" to New York, where they are so desperately needed.
"We need that money now! We're barely able to expense out our lunches," exclaimed worried A.I.G. executive Gwen Driscoll. Driscoll fretted that her corporate American Express Platinum card was "being strained to the breaking point."
Meanwhile, Republicans warned that the allegedly Democratic-controlled Congress would take too much time debating a relief bill. "We need a lack of oversight, and we need it now," said Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson. "Before anyone has a chance to think about it."
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And in other legal news
A spokesman for the Charles Ponzi estate revealed that the Ponzi family has sued in federal court demanding federal prosecutors, securities & exchange officials, the media as a whole cease and desist any further usage of Mr. Ponzi’s name and legacy in referencing Bernard Madoff’s purported crimes.
“For federal officials and reporters to continue to associate Mr. Ponzi’s creative investment strategy to Bernard Madoff’ outright scam does great harm by defaming Mr. Ponzi’s reputation,” said Ponzi estate attorney, Rob D’Frawd.
“Compared to Bernard Madoff, Charles Ponzi was Mother Teresa.”
Charles Ponzi, alias Charles Ponei, Charles P. Bianchi, and Chuck the Schmuck, scammed thousands out of millions of dollars by means of a pyramid scheme in the early part of the 20th century.
“Over the years, filmmakers, novelists, and the guy who came up with the expression, ‘too good to be true,’ have all benefited from Mr. Ponzi’s creative investment techniques. With Mr. Madoff’s outright greed and egregious disregard for the charismatic ingenuity of Mr. Ponzi, the continued misusage of Mr. Ponzi’s good name in describing Mr. Madoff’s criminal activities can forever deprive his family from receiving its just earnings.”

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Finally, words to live by in the 21st Century
If you have something, set it free
If it comes back it will always be yours
If it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with
But if it just sits in your living room
Messes up your stuff, eats your food
Uses your telephone, takes your money
And doesn't appear to realize that you set it free...
You either married it or gave birth to it