Andreas sent me some banker jokes. Hey, if I can do jokes about chemists and economists investment bankers should be easy. After all, they have reduced the economy to a joke.
But first, Mary Ellen has the best short joke of the year
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mommy', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied.
Now for those banker jokes
• Financial Advisors are sleeping like babies – they wake up every hour and cry.
• Heard from an investment banker: “This crisis is worse than a divorce. I lost half of my belongings and am still married.”
• The credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet. The car's been repossessed.
• I went to buy a toaster and it came with a bank.
• A director decided to award a prize of $50 for the best idea of saving the company money during the credit crunch. It was won by a young executive who suggested reducing the prize money to $10.
And Banker riddles.
Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One of them lets the bulb drop, and the other one tries to sell it before it hits the floor.
Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One of them lets the bulb drop, and the other one tries to sell it before it hits the floor.
Q: What's the difference between an investment banker and a pizza?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four!
Q: Why do the banks never fire their top accountants?
A: Because they always threaten to take a job as investigators with the IRS.
Q: What do you say to the investor who lost a lot of money?
A: "Don't be sad; your money isn't lost. It just belongs to someone else now..."
Q: What does the AAA-rating of a bank stand for?
A: The executive council consists of Academics, Analysts and the other A**holes.
Q: What is optimism?
A: When an investment banker irons five fresh shirts on Sunday
Who would have ever thought there would be Icelandic Bank jokes
Q: What is the capitol of Iceland?
A: Oh, about $2.10 and sinking fast
Q: What do Icelandic banks and an Icelandic streaker have in common?
A: They both have frozen assets.
Q: How do you successfully freeze your financial assets?
A: Invest in an Icelandic bank
Japanese Banking Humor
Uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last seven days, Origami bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank has announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was also announced that Karaoke Bank will go up for sale and will likely go for a song, while shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended today after they crashed. While Samurai Bank is soldiering on after sharp cutbacks, 500 employees at Karate Bank got the chop. Finally, analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment