Spring Time for JOW

Spring is my favorite season here in South East Texas. It is not too hot yet. The soil becomes moist and fecund. ('Fecund' is a fancy word for ‘muddy') Wild flowers explode everywhere. A sure sign of springtime in Texas is the sight of families posing their children in spectacular fields of bluebonnets.
Let’s start with a few bad riddles.

Q. What do you call two young married spiders?
A. Newly webs.

Q. What kind of socks does a gardener wear?
A. Garden hose.

My wife's a water sign. I'm an earth sign. Together we make mud.
- Rodney Dangerfield

What could be more spring-like than a robin? So here is a robin joke

Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry", said the first one.
"Me, too," said the second. "Let's fly down and find some lunch." They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. They ate and ate and ate and ate until they could eat no more. "
I'm so full I don't think I can fly back up to the tree", said the first robin.
"Me, either. Let's just lay here and bask in the warm sun", said the second.
They plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, a big fat tomcat sneaked up and gobbled them up.
As he sat washing his face after his meal, he thought, "I just love baskin' robins."

Some thoughts on growing things.

God made rainy days, so gardeners could get the housework done.
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill
except for learning to grow in rows.
- Doug Larson

Gardening requires lots of water - most of it in the form of perspiration.

I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I am going to get a tractor that small!
- Steven Wright

An organic joke.
A woman called her husband during the day and asked him to pick up some organic vegetables for that night’s dinner on his way home.
The husband arrived at the store and began to search all over for organic vegetables before finally asking the produce guy where they were. The produce guy didn’t know what he was talking about, so the husband said: “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with poisonous chemicals?”
To which the produce guy replied, “No, sir, you will have to do that yourself.”

I had a lot of trouble editing my books. Hey, writing can be hard. Check out these church bulletins if you don’t believe me.

•Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
• Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
•Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
• Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help.
• At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
• Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
• For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
• This evening at 7 p.m. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
• Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
• The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!"