Economic JOW

As they say, a recession is when other people lose their jobs, a depression is when you lose yours. If so, then once again, the United States has entered a depression. I have become Cost Cut Casualty, or as they say in California, I am now Occupationally Challenged. It is not the end of the world; I will probably be able to find something to tide me over. After all, I do many things well; unfortunately none of them directly generate income. I have considered either charging a subscription for the JOW or perhaps charging people NOT to send them the JOW. I am still working on the specifics of the business plan for that one.

My jokes have an economic theme this week for obvious reasons.

During the waning days of communism in the Soviet Union, an inspector was charged with visiting local poultry farmers and inquiring about the amount of feed they were giving their chickens. Central planning was still in effect and each farmer was allocated 15 Rubles to spend on chicken feed.
One farmer very honestly answered that he spent five of the allocated 15 Rubles on chicken feed. The inspector took this to mean that the thieving farmer pocketed the other ten and promptly had him imprisoned.
Hearing of this through the rumor mill, the next farmer down the road insisted that he spent all 15 Rubles on food for the chickens. The inspector saw this as a case of budget padding and the farmer as a wasteful opportunist. He too was imprisoned.
The third farmer heard of both episodes and was more prepared for the inspector's arrival.
"How many of the 15 Rubles do you actually spend on chicken feed," asked the inspector.
Like a true nascent capitalist, the farmer threw his hands in the air and answered, "Hey! I give 15 Rubles to the chickens. They can eat whatever they want!"

Economics explained.
An experienced economist and not so experienced economist are walking down the road. They come across a pile of horse manure lying on the asphalt.
Experienced economist: "If you eat it I'll give you $20,000!"
The not so experienced economist runs his optimization problem and figures out he's better off eating it; he does and collects his money.
Continuing along the same road they come across another pile of horse manure.
The not so experienced economist: "Now, if YOU eat this I’ll give YOU $20,000."
After evaluating the proposal experienced economist eats it and collects the money.
They go on. The not so experienced economist starts thinking: "Listen, we both have the same amount of money we had before, but we both ate horse manure. I don't see us being better off."
The experienced economist replies "Well, that's true, but you overlooked the fact that we've been just involved in $40,000 of trade."

Another economist joke
Three leading economists took a small plane to the wilderness in northern Canada for their annual moose hunt. The last thing the pilot said was, ‘remember this is a small plane and you will only be able to bring ONE moose back’.
But of course, they all killed a moose. They argued about which economist should be have the right to bring home his moose. The three still had not come to an agreement when the plan arrived. They talked and talked until the pilot agreed to allow them bring all three dead moose onboard. Just after takeoff, the plane stalled and crashed. In the wreckage, one of the economists woke up, looked around and said.
“Hey, we are just about a hundred yards east of the place there we crashed last year.”

Finally, from Bil
Subject: Psychiatrists vs. Bartenders

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a shrink and told him that I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy."
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears."
"How much do you charge?" I asked.
"Eighty dollars per visit," replied the doctor.
"I'll sleep on it," I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?" he asked.
"Well, eighty dollars a visit, three times a week, for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!"
"Is that so?" With a bit of an attitude he said, "And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!"