Louisiana JOW

I am in Louisiana this week doing a project; quite a change from the Rockies. I want to be in Louisiana when the end of the world comes because they are twenty years behind the rest of the country. For example, they have slightly different definitions for some old IT terms.
• A modem is something done to grass.
• A mouse pad is a home for Mickey & Minnie.
• A screen helps keep the bugs off the porch.
• On line is where you stay during a field sobriety test.
• Fax is what Joe Friday wanted to hear.
• Backup is what you do when you see a skunk in the woods.

Here is a bit of Cajun humor

Boudreaux and Thibodaux decide dey gonna go ice fishin.
Dey stop at a store on da side of da road and axe the cashier where dey can go ice fishin.
Da man says "there is a frozen lake across the road and I got bait and ice picks to break the ice to fish.”
An hour later Boudreaux goes to da store to buy some more ice picks. He tells the cashier "I want all the ice picks you got."
The guy says are "you catching that many fish?"
Boudreaux says "Catching fish?"
" We never even launch the boat yet"!
------------------------------------
Here's how it works in Louisiana:
The steps at the Louisiana state capitol need some repairs so bids are taken from carpenters from across the state.
First a carpenter from Lake Charles looks it over. After a session of measuring and figuring he presents his bid. I can do it for $9,000, he says. I'd need $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.
Next a redneck from Lafayette does his measuring and calculating then says, I'll do it for $7,000. $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew, and $1,000 profit for me.
Last a Cajun from Breaux Bridge steps up. Without even looking at the job site he says, I'll do it for $27,000.
Surprised at how high it is, the man taking the bids asks him to explain it.
It's simple, he says. $10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Lafayette
===========================
Lots of states have specialty teams to offer assistance after a natural disaster. Some can provide food, medicine, vehicles, even rescue dogs. New Orleans offered to send a volunteer team of cops to beat the crap out of survivors.

Finally here are some views of Then and Now from Charles (who was around back Then)

Then: Long hair
Now: Longing for hair

Then: KEG
Now: EKG

Then: Acid rock
Now: Acid reflux

Then: Moving to California because it's cool
Now: Moving to Arizona because it's warm

Then: Seeds and stems
Now: Roughage

Then: Hoping for a BMW
Now: Hoping for a BM

Then: Going to a new, hip joint
Now: Receiving a new hip joint

Then: Rolling Stones
Now: Kidney Stones

Then: Screw the system
Now: Upgrade the system

Then: Disco
Now: Costco

Then: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
Now: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

Then: Passing the drivers' test
Now: Passing the vision test

Then: Whatever
Now: Depends