Culturally Diverse JOW #770

Pat is taking a vacation in France and had some cogent comments about the French that he has already shared with some of us.  I am taking opportunity to pass it along for those that missed it.  I used our various cultural differences as sort of a theme for this week’s JOW.

“Being from Texas I noticed the French have some unusual traits.  Then I realized that weird clothes, obsessing over food and drink, and lingering four hours over a bite to eat are not traits of the French - they are traits of the homeless.  Think about it, don’t we often refer to a homeless person as an old wino?

Taking the essential characteristics of the homeless to a superior and more respected level, (we can add the characteristics of doing virtually nothing except to sit around and discuss politics), and life is called retirement.  The French, of course, all retire somewhere between the age of 18 and 20, and thus have developed retirement into an art form.  No Frenchman of adult age actually works in France.  If he is ambitious and actually wants to work, he moves to another country so as not to embarrass his relatives.   All work in France is done by the Spaniards, Italians and, to a certain extent Muslims, who work and pay taxes and are here so as not to embarrass their relatives in the home country.

The result of all this is that the French have made retirement a national vocation.  Think about it.  French military and retirement are synonyms.  The French don’t go to bed, they retire to their chambers.  At politics, the profession of those of all nationalities who wish to get paid for doing absolutely nothing, the French excel.  The Captain is thus correct that I am morphing into characteristics of the French, a process that has already been completed by previous retirees such as Comee and Pinney.”

A Frenchman approached Pat and said. “’You’re a high-priced lawyer.  If I give you 500 dollars, will you answer two questions?’
“Absolutely!” answered Pat, “What’s the second question?’”

Tom & Martha shared this insight into the Greek credit crisis.

It is a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.

Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna.
The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit.
The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.
The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveler will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory,   pockets the money, and leaves town.

No one produced anything.

No one earned anything.

However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that is how the bailout package works!

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The first jokes are often attributed to the Greeks, specifically Palamedes, who is also credited with the invention of many other things. Here is an example of ancient Greek joke:

“A barber, a bald man and an absent-minded professor take a journey together. They have to camp overnight, and so decide to take turns watching the luggage. When it’s the barber’s turn, he gets bored, so amuses himself by shaving the head of the professor. When the professor is woken up for his shift, he feels his head, and says “How stupid is that barber? He’s woken up the bald man instead of me.”

Not everything that is old as funny as I am.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I was walking down the mall with a Chinese friend yesterday when he turned to me and said, “Seeing all those flags on display makes me so proud of my country.”
“But Chan, you’re Chinese,” I replied, “All those flags are for different countries.”
“No they’re not,” he laughed, “just take a look at the labels!”

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And finally one from Texas.

A Texas State trooper pulled a car over on I-35 about 2 miles south of Waco Texas. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Austin Texas to do a show for the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.

The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got three flares, lit them and handed them to him.

While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the State Troopers car.  A drunken good old boy from central Texas got out, watched the performance, then went over to the Trooper's car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to the State car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, “You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.”