Dental JOW #964

First and foremost a note – I have been doing these JOW’s for over 15 years with some regularity.  For reasons that escape me, from time to time people just drop off the email list.  It is not because I do not care about you.  I think it is either nefarious federal agents or space aliens.  The point is, if you do not get my JOW for a couple of weeks, let me know so I can put you back on the mailing list.

I had oral surgery last week; actually it was not too bad.  But that got me thinking about dentists and jokes about dentists which make up the core of my jokes this week.  We should be kind to dentists.  They have fillings too.  I mean they have to do more cavity searches than TSA.

I hope you enjoy these offerings.

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"I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?" "That's right, Sir."

"So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?"

"That was my dentist."

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In the courtroom a dentist was called as a witness. He took the oath a few feet from the recorder’s desk, and she noticed his upraised arm was trembling, apparently from nervousness. After he finished, she couldn't resist saying softly, "Sit down, Doctor. This won't hurt a bit."

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They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns.

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"Open wider." requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Dear God!" he said startled. "You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen - the biggest cavity I've ever seen."

"OK Doc!" replied the patient. "I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice."

"I didn't!" said the dentist. "That was the echo."

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Sometimes dentists give you the option of Novocain or Yanni.

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“Your gums look sensitive.  Let’s stab them with this prison shank.”

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Q: What does the dentist of the year get? A: A little plaque
Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment? A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Four out of five dentists think the other dentist is an idiot.

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What do you call a dentist’s system of thought?
His fl ossophy.

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How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
I don’t know. How?
His drill slipped.

“””””””””””””””””””

Some dental book tittles

“Dental Examination” by Hope N. Wide.

“Pain Management” by Nova Cane.

“Use your own toothbrush!” Tom bristled.

I haven’t used a knock-Knock joke for a while

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes, who?
Dishes how I talk since I lost my teeth!

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A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation for an urgent visit to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want Novocain because I’m in a big hurry," the woman said to the dentist. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way."

The dentist was quite impressed. "You’re certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your sore tooth, dear."

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When a new dentist set up in a small town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the latest kind of "Painless" dentist. But a local lad quickly disputed this. "He's a fake ! " he told his friends. "He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him - and he yelled like anyone else."

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Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?

Dentist: $200

Patient: $200 for just a few minutes work???

Dentist: I can extract it very slowly, if you like.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

A patient asked the dentist, if it wasn’t nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth.

The dentist answered "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."

Once, many years ago, a dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to the hotel that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten to put his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth."

The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth.

"Try these," he said. The speaker tried them.

"Too loose," he said.

The man then said, "I have another pair...try these."

The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight."

The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair...try them."

The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave his address.

After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist."

The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm the local undertaker."

And a final bit of wisdom from Steve:

When you shoot yourself in the foot, while your foot is in your mouth, the risk of collateral damage is significant...