Easter JOW

It is Easter. That brings to mind some the things we associate with that spring time celebration─ Bunnies, Easter eggs, and above all chocolate. Never forget─ Money may talk but Chocolate sings.

Don’t blame me for the first joke. Pammy sent it to me.

A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.
The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry.
A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?"
The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.
Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!
The man was astonished. He said to the woman, "What in heaven's name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?"
The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label.
It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."

The Rules of Chocolate
• If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
• Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
• A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
• If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what is wrong with you?
• Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives keep you looking younger.
• Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.
• Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
• Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables. And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable and dairy intake.

The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter.
Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Christmas.

Alzheimer’s Advantage- You can hide your own Easter eggs.

Q. What do Easter Bunny helpers get for making a basket?
A. Two points, unless they are behind the three point line.

Finally, I am going to resort to some Easter-themed Knock Knock jokes.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ether.
Ether who?
Ether bunny.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Anna.
Anna who?
Anna nother ether bunny.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Juan.
Juan who?
Juan more ether bunny.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stella.
Stella who?
Stella nother ether bunny.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Consumption.
Consumption who?
Consumption be done about all these ether bunnies?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's not another ether bunny joke?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dewey
Dewey who?
Dewey have to read any more ether bunny jokes?

Well, no.