For Better or Worse JOW

There is a wedding in our neighborhood this week so the whole topic of marriage is on my mind. Like the battle of the sexes, I have lots of material to draw from. First, a joke, then some observations.
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A man and woman had been married for sixty years. They kept no secrets from each other except a shoebox the woman had in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask about.
However, one day the woman got sick and the doctor said she would not recover. The man got the shoebox and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed it was time he should know what was in the box.
When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling $25,000.
She said, "When we were to be married, my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily."
The old man was so moved he had to fight back tears; there were only two doilies in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in sixty years. He almost burst with happiness.
"Honey," he said, "that explains the doilies, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"
Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling doilies."

A poetic thought on marriage:
If you love something, set it free,
if it comes back its yours,
if it doesn't it never was...
...but if it just sits there on the sofa, watching TV,
unaware that it's been set free,
you probably married it...

Seven Ages of the Married Cold
• 1st year -- "Oh, sweetie pie, I'm really worried about those nasty sniffles you have! There's no telling what that could turn into with all the strep that's been going around. I'm going to take you right down to the hospital and have you admitted for a couple days of rest. I know the food is lousy there, so I'm going to bring you some takeout from China Garden. I've already arranged it with the head nurse."
• 2nd year -- "Listen, honey, I don't like the sound of that cough. Why don't you just go on to bed and get the rest you need?"
• 3rd year -- "Maybe you better go lie down, darling. When you feel lousy you need the rest. I'll bring you something--do we have any canned soup around here?"
• 4th year -- "No sense wearing yourself out when you're under the weather. When you finish those dishes and the kids' baths and get them to bed, you ought to go to bed yourself!"
• 5th year -- "Why don't you take a couple aspirin?"
• 6th year -- "You oughta go gargle or something, instead of sitting around barking like a dog!"
• 7th year -- "For Pete's sake, stop sneezing. Are you trying to give me pneumonia? You'd better pick up some tissues while you're at the store."
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Former Education Secretary William Bennett attended a modern wedding where the bride and groom pledged in their wedding vows to remain together "as long as love shall last."
Bennett said, "I sent them paper plates as my wedding gift."
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
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"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast," said the new husband.
"Toast and juice," she replied.

And some final thoughts on the institution:
• Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. - Mae West
• By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man. - Socrates
• I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.
• Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener!
• All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married that's their own fault.
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
• Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
• Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.
• Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
• Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
• Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
• Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.