Timely JOW

We took a little working vacation last weekend to Natchez for a booksigning. It was such a wonderful trip it seemed like we were gone for a week, yet we were home by Saturday night. I will finish up my little write up complete with photos and make it available for those you are interested.
It seems as I get older there is never enough time. That is my theme for this JOW, time.

Remember, if you are careful and abstemious you can add up to six additional months to the end of your life which you will probably spend in some assisted care facility at $7,000 month.

The church wanted to help their congregation cope better with the stresses of modern life, and decided to offer a course in Time Management.
Soon after the course was announced, a member telephoned the Pastor.
"What time does the course start, Pastor?"
The Pastor replied, "Oh... six-ish or seven-ish...."

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.
"What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.
"That is the talking clock", the man replied.
"How's it work?" the friend asked.
"Watch", the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.
Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It's two AM in the morning!

A customer calls the round-the-clock tech support hotline to ask what hours the call center is open.
"The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week," says the technician who answers the call.
Customer asks, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"

A psychologist asks a colleague: "What time is it?"
The other one answers: "Sorry, don't know, I have no watch."
The first one: "Never mind. The main thing is that we talked about it."

A man named his three dogs Rolex, Timex, and Omega. When questioned as to the source of those names, the owner replies. “Well, they are watch dogs.”

Finally from Mary Ellen:
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him the other one the Star of David. Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross. A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David.
Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, 'My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism... People aren't going to give money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite.'
The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the pries. After the priest left he turned to the beggar with the cross and said: 'Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing?