Ole and Lena JOW

Ole and Lena jokes are a staple of the upper Midwest. Ole and Lena are prototypical Norwegian-Americans living in rural Minnesota sometimes including thick accents. Usually their jokes are in the “dumb” category that blondes fill in other regions but they are sometimes bawdy: this is one of the mildest examples I can give without violating my JOW standards:
“So, Ole, I hear you are going on a vacation.”
“Yeah, goin’ back to Norway to visit da family der.”
“Well, be careful. You know what happens when you go on vacation. You went to Duluth, Lena got pregnant; you took that trip to Calgary, Lena got pregnant; you visited Chicago, Lena got pregnant.”
“No change of that happening this time.”
“Why not?”
“I am taking her with me.”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
When Ole and Lena were young and in love they would got to their favorite spot to park. One night while parked hugging and kissing Ole asks Lena, "Lena how would you like to go in the back?"
"No," she replies. So they hug and kiss some more. Again, Ole asks Lena to go in the back.
Lena replies, "Ole, why are you always asking me to go in the back, I want to stay in front with you!

================================
Ole and Lena had been going steady for almost twenty years. One night Ole remarked, “Lena, we been together for a long time now; maybe we should get married.”
“Married,” scoffed Lena, “at our age who would have us?”

++++++++++++++++++++++
Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena Said, "Ole, you can go farther if ya vant to"... so Ole drove to Duluth.

```````````````````````````````````````````````
Ole and Lena went to the hospital so Lena could give birth to their first baby. As Ole waited in the lobby, the doctor came out to inform him that he had some good news and some bad news. "The good news is that you have a normal baby boy. However, the baby had to be delivered Caesarian."
Ole started crying: "Vell, I'm glad it is a healthy baby...but I vas kinda hoping it would be a Norvegian."

…………………………………..
A few years later Lena made a panicked call to the doctor. “Doctor! Little Ole just swallowed a bullet! What should ve do?”
“Just stay calm,” advised the doctor, “give him some castor oil and make sure you don’t aim him at anybody.”

___________________
Ole started a farm machinery business. He put it a big advertisement in the paper:
“We stand behind all our implements – with the exception of the manure spreaders.”

---------------------------------
Finally Lena passed away; Ole called 911. The 911 operator told Ole that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Ole replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
"Can you spell that for me?" the operator asked.
There was a long pause and finally Ole said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up der?"