Good Humored JOW

It seems that about half of you did not find my “Manly JOW” amusing – guess which half. I have spent a fair amount of time cogitating about humor - what is funny and what isn’t. My research has confirmed that a lot of famously smart people have also had something to say about humor.

• "Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is." Francis Bacon

• "A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing." William James

• "If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide." Mahatma Gandhi

• "A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.” Henry Ward Beecher

• "The secret to humor is surprise." Aristotle

But in the end I came to agree with the thoughts of the two wise men below:

• "Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind." E. B. White

• "Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people." Robert Benchley

After all those deep thoughts here are a couple of actual jokes:

Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?"
Priest: "No, not if you did not know."
Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"

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A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant. Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's on my desk. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
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Don provided me with these - Idle Thoughts Of A Retiree's Wandering Mind
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
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All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy
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If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
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What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
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They told me I was gullible…. and I believed them.
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Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
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One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
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My weight is perfect for my height--which seems to vary.
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How can there be self-help "groups"?
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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
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Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off
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Is it me --or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
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Two more random thoughts

• Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

• Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'


Tom