JOW of Genius

I saw a wonderful show about Albert Einstein on my favorite cable network: Geek TV. That got me thinking about genius. I myself am a misunderstood genius; I must be misunderstood, because nobody else thinks I'm a genius. That delusion (one of many) admitted, I do think my JOW readers are pretty smart people. So here are some jokes sort of connected to the idea of genius.
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Albert Einstein died of a cerebral hemorrhage - you could call it a Stroke of Genius.

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“A genius is someone who takes a complex thing and makes it look simple. An academic does the opposite.”

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How come you can play guitar and harmonica at the same time, like, you know, Bob Dylan or Neil Young you're a musical genius, but if you take that extra effort to strap some cymbals to your knees, people will cross the street to get the hell away from you?

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If genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, there must be a lot of bright people at my gym.

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Did you hear about the florist's twins? One was a budding genius and the other was a blooming idiot.
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A sad man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks him what the problem is.
"My life is awful," the man says. "Every night, I play Trivial Pursuit with my wife, and every night she beats me."
"Well, why don't you just stop playing Trivial Pursuit?" the bartender asks.
"I love the game," the man says. "I'm a genius. I never lose."
The bartender is confused. "I thought you just said your wife beats you."
"Well," the man explained, "she's a sore loser."

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A police officer stops the famous Dr. Werner Heisenberg in his car for speeding. He walks up to the window and says "Do you have any idea how fast you were going, sir?"
"No", replies Heisenberg, "but I know exactly where I am!"

A quick puzzle:

Q: What type of cheese is made backwards?
A: EDAM.


Some folks say Steve Jobs was a genius; others say that it is ‘too soon’ to make jokes about him. These groups are wrong.

• Steve Jobs has released a new product called "iDead"
• Latest marketing claim by Apple - "The new G4 phones will do everything but cure pancreatic cancer."

Then there are those souls who make all of the rest of us look like geniuses. Here are some quotes to make that point

• "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
• "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
• "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign
• "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
• "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
• "Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

Finally, after all that brain work, here are two simple quizzes that always make me smile.

Q: What do you call a bear with no ear?
A: 'B'

&

Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick


Tom