Ethnic JOW

This week I thought to explore ethnic humor. Most of it does not appeal to me – there are too many jokes that mock accents or belittle various other ethnicities. That is in part because humor is based in part on things that are unexpected, ridiculous, silly, or different, and ethnic groups are usually by definition different. With the wreck of the Costa Concordia, Italian captains are in the news, so the Italians sort of dominate this particular episode of the JOW.

Let’s get some stereotypes out of the way first.

HEAVEN is where:
The police are British
The chefs Italian
The mechanics are German
The lovers are French
and it's all organized by the Swiss

HELL is where:
The police are German
The chefs are British
The mechanics are French
The lovers are Swiss
and it's all organized by the Italians!!

Speaking of Italians….

Q: How do they serve alcoholic drinks on Italian cruise ships?
A: On the rocks

Q: What's the fastest way to get off an Italian cruise ship?
A: Follow the captain


After his retirement, Winston Churchill was cruising the Mediterranean on an Italian cruise liner, when some Italian journalists asked him why a former British prime minister would choose an Italian ship. Churchill replied, “There are three things I like about being on an Italian cruise ship. First, their cuisine is unsurpassed. Second, their service is superb. And then, in time of emergency, there is none of this nonsense about women and infants first.”

A paraphrase of Winston Churchill to J. Ribbentrop, German foreign minister shortly before WWII: "It's only fair that you have the Italians this time, we had them last time."
………………………………..

Luigi wanted his son to make a good marriage but mistrusted the boy’s judgment; so he took matters into his own hands.
Luigi 'I want you to marry a girl of my choice.'
Son: 'I will choose my own bride!!!'
Luigi: 'But the girl is Bill Gates' daughter.'
Son: 'Well, in that case... ok'
Next Luigi approaches Bill Gates.
Luigi: 'I have a husband for your daughter...'
Bill Gates: 'But my daughter is too young to marry!!!!!'
Luigi: 'But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank'
Bill Gates: 'Ah, in that case...ok'
Finally Luigi goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Luigi: 'I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.'
President: 'But I already have more vice-presidents than I need!'
Luigi: 'But this young man is Bill Gates' son-in-law.'
President: 'Ah, in that case...ok'
And that, my friends, is how Italians do business.


Did you hear about the 21 year old Italian girl who knelt in front of the statue of Madonna?
She said: "You who conceived without sin, let me sin without conceiving!"

This one is from Debbie

Q: How do the Amish hunt?
A: They sneak up on a deer and build a barn around it

Ruthie passed this one on to me.

A man asked an American Indian
What was his wife's name.
He replied, "She is called Five Horses".
The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife. What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian name. It mean...
NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!


Finally one from Martha that reaches all ethnicities

Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Nancy listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He then addressed the men. "Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Frank leaned over, touched Nancy’s arm gently, and whispered, "Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn't it?"
And thus began Frank's life of celibacy...



Tom