Sailboat Woes JOW

As some of you know I was helping my friend Craig bring his boat around from Key West to Texas. Unfortunately we had not counted on the attentions of Tropical Storm Debbie which formed as soon as we had departed and sat out on the middle of the Gulf right where we had intended to transit. We were blessed to receive the hospitality of a two acquaintances,Tom and Genie, who allowed us to moor at the dock outside their lovely house in Tarpon Springs. They are two of the nicest people on earth, taking in three virtual strangers into their home. Oh, yes, and Genie is also a gourmet cook. For a while Craig and I suspected that me might have actually not survived the experience and had gone to our reward.
Debby squatted out in the Gulf, closing it to passage for a week or more. I rented a car and returned home not by boat but by Avis; a thousand miles is a long way to drive in one day.
Thus my JOW this week is somewhat related to sailing or at least has a bit of a nautical theme. As Tennyson put it, “And may there be no moaning at the bar, when I put out to sea.”

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A sailor, after running aground on a sand bar, paid a passing fisherman fifty dollars to pull him off with his boat.
After he was off the bar, he said to the fisherman, "At those prices, I should think you could make a real living pulling people off night and day."
"Can't," replied the fisherman. "At night I haul sand out to the bar."
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Some nautical terms explained:
• BOAT - Break Out Another Thousand
• Fluke - The portion of an anchor that digs securely into the bottom, holding the boat in place; also, any occasion when this occurs on the first try.
• Zephyr - Warm, pleasant breeze. Named after the mythical Greek god of wishful thinking, false hopes, and unreliable forecasts.
• Freeboard - Food and liquor supplied by the owner.
• Cruising - Repairing your boat in exotic locations.
• Why do sopranos make good sailors? Because they can handle high seas.
• Headway - What you are making if you can get the toilet to work.
• Pulpit - somewhere you pray you are going to pick up a mooring buoy.
• Tabernacle - something similar to pulpit, but a different religion.
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Bill and Tom had rented a boat and scuba gear to seek treasure off the coast of the Carolinas. They had been diving in various locations, with little success. It was starting to get very late, when they happened upon this old trunk on the bottom. The trunk was too heavy for them to raise, so they decided to come back the next day and bring tools to open it.
While on the boat, they looked around and realized they were several miles off shore.
Bill said, “Tom we need to somehow mark this spot, so we can find it tomorrow!"
Tom took a can of black paint and marked a big "X" on the bottom of the boat.
Bill, absolutely dumbfounded, said "Tom, I can't believe you did that! What if we can’t rent this same boat tomorrow?"
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News Flashes:
- Two barges from Texas A & M, one carrying a cargo of red paint, other loaded with blue paint have collided at sea. Last radio contact confirmed that both crews were marooned.
-A ship carrying a cargo of yo-yos, bound for San Francisco from Hong Kong, was hit by a typhoon and has sunk - twenty-three times.
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A Naval officer (which Navy will go unspecified) was being court-martialed for an incident where he was seen chasing a giggling young lady through the hallways of the hotel in which they were both staying.
Neither of them were wearing any clothing. One of the charges levied against the officer was that of "being out of uniform."
The officer’s lawyer argued that the he was not out of uniform, as the regulations read: "A Naval officer must be at all times be appropriately attired for the activity in which he is engaged."
The officer was acquitted.


Okay, finally a math problem; not just any math problem but the most dreaded kind, the Word Problem.

Three couples had rented a sailboat for the weekend, at a cost of $300.00. Each couple had chipped in $100.00 a piece to cover the cost of the boat. As they were getting ready to make way, a dock
hand flagged them down to say, "the owner of this boat has decided to give you back $50.00 in hopes to entice you to come back on another occasion." he proceeded to hand them 5- $10.00 bills.
The couples
then realized, there wasn't an easy way to divide 5- $10 bills equally between themselves. So they gave the dock hand a $20.00 tip and then divided the remaining 3- $10 between each couple.
So they each paid $100.00 apiece originally for the boat rental, and received $10.00 back. Then in essence they paid $90.00 for the boat.
Thus
$90 (The amount each couple paid) x 3 (The amount of couples) = $270 +
$20 (The tip they gave the dock hand) = $290.
Where did the other $10 go?