Dental JOW #630

I had the misfortune of having a toothache last week.  I've been to the dentist many times so I ‘know the drill’.  I have a very good dentist; they call him the king of the dentists because ‘he specialized in crowns’.  He even won a dental award – they gave him a little ‘plaque’.  He offered me a choice for numbing: either Novocain or Yanni.  Contemplating a possible root canal procedure was deeply ‘unnerving’. 

Fortunately it turned out to be an infection that was treated with antibiotics and lots of wonderful pain pills that allowed me to keep functioning.  However my misfortune gave me a theme for this week’s JOW.

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     The Smiths were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Smith made it clear he was in a big hurry.
     "No fancy expensive stuff, Doctor," he ordered, "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with."
     "I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?"
     Mr. Smith turned to his wife. "Open up and show him, honey."

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No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.

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A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"

The man replies, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious ... Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything."

"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome."

"Why chrome?" asks the patient.

To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that ... there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!

     A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled.
     "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?"
     "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.

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At 5 P.M. one Halloween afternoon, my dental hygienist realized that she wouldn't make it to the store in time to get snacks for trick-or-treaters.  So she took home some free samples from the office supply cabinet.  That night she handed out dozens of toothbrushes, toothpaste, and dental floss.  The next year, although she had bags of chips and popcorn, not one child came knocking at her door.

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Dentist: That tooth must come out; it is a simple procedure that will only take a few minutes.

Patient: How much will it cost?

Dentist: $90.00.

Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work?

Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.

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And finally, a bit off topic –

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor for his annual physical.  While her husband dressed the doctor went out to the waiting room to talk to her.

“I don’t like the way your husband looks,” he said quietly.

“Neither do I,” she replied, “but he is handy to have around the house.”