Pre-Holiday JOW #636

Thanksgiving is the real start of the ‘Holidays’ a time demanding way too much effort for way too long.  We are constantly bombarded with messages to spend, Spend, SPEND, SPEND.  At least Thanksgiving has less pressure from commercials – although Black Friday is somehow becoming a holiday in and of itself.  This is the logical extension of our entire Holiday system: no need to have a real holiday, just a reason to spend money we don’t have.   At least Thanksgiving allows us to all sit down at the same time – halftime.

Thanksgiving does not get much attention from the motion picture industry; here are a few ideas for some Thanksgiving-themed movies.

·        My Best Friend's Dressing

·        The Texas Coleslaw Massacre

·        Casserolablanca

·        12 Hungry Men

·        Silence of the Yams

·        For Love of The Game Hen

·        I Know What You Ate Last Winter

·        White Meat Can't Jump

·        When Harry Met Salad

·        The Wing and I

And if you do happen to burn your Turkey, relax, there are some upsides to that.

·        The smoke alarm can get a test.

·        Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.

·         Tell everybody your turkey is Cajun blackened.

·        Salmonella won't be a concern.

·        Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain new found appreciation.

·        Pets won't bother to pester you for scraps.

·        No one will overeat.

·        You'll get to the desserts even quicker.

·        The less turkey Uncle You-Know-Who eats, the less likely he will be to walk around with his pants unbuttoned.

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At a Thanksgiving celebration the uncle sat down next to his young niece was sitting beside next to her infant brother.

“Is he spoiled?” asked the doting uncle.

“No, he usually smells like that,” she replied.

…………………………

Young Bubba was sitting in his grandmother's kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.
"What are you doing?" Bubba asked.
"Oh, I'm just stuffing the turkey," his grandmother replied.
"That's cool!" Bubba said. "Are you going to hang it next to the deer?"

Some non-holiday humor:

Old guys can still have some box office punch.  There have been a couple of movies starring well-aged action stars.  They called them “The Expendables”.  I guess they thought that given the age of some of the stars calling them “The Dependables” might give the wrong idea.

Dick, who lives in LA and thus should know, says that Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to star in a new Conan movie.  The working title is “Conan the Octogenarian”

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I heard some Seals were punished for helping to development one of those military video games.  Maybe our Generals can pick up a few bucks by helping develop a new game: “Call of Booty”.

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A random thought: If fast carnivorous dinosaurs had pondered the meaning of life would they have been called Philosoraptors?