Oddball JOW #637

In order to ‘get’ some jokes you have to know a little bit about the subject of the joke.  In fact that is part of the humor of it: the shared understanding of the pun or ambiguity of the expression.  If the person hearing the joke is unaware of some of background of the joke they will not get the reference.  Does the name 'Pavlov' ring any bells?  

Here are three oddball jokes which presume a basic knowledge of physics:

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?
A: To get to the same side.

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Two molecules walk into a bar.  One says to the other “I think I have lost an electron.”

“Are you certain?” asks the other molecule.

“Yes, I’m positive.”

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Notice in a physics lab:

       Wanted

Schrodinger’s Cat

   Dead or Alive

        Or not

Here are some other oddball jokes

A recent psychological study revealed that a woman’s estrus cycle changes her taste in men.

While ovulating, women prefer pictures of faces of strong-looking very masculine men.  During their periods, they seem to prefer pictures of men with visible blunt force trauma to their face. 

Kids may not get this joke because don’t understand that during women’s ‘time of the month’ women become less compassionate, more moody, withdrawn, and prone to violent irrational outbursts; that is, they become more like men. 

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!''

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!''

The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price."

The dog replied, "Yeah but that would make no sense at all!"

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A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law!
I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

A few quick  jokes:

·         After all that food on Thanksgiving I decided to go on a whiskey diet. I've already lost two days.

·         A truckload of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins. What a turtle disaster!  

·         I went to the corner shop and bought 4 corners.

·         What is the proper scientific term for your tenth sexual partner?  Decimate

·         And if they were all men?    Decimale

·         What do you call a bear that has lost one ear?      B

In conclusion, do any of you remember Elephant jokes?

How do you get 4 elephants in a Smartcar?

2 in the front and 2 in the back.

What's harder than getting 4 elephants in a Smartcar?

Getting 4 pregnant elephants in a Smartcar.

What's harder than getting 4 pregnant elephants in a Smartcar?

Getting 4 elephants pregnant in a Smartcar!  (read carefully)

How do you get four giraffes into a Smartcar?

You can't; it’s full of elephants