Foghoot and Meme JOW #658

This week had National Talk like Shakespeare day, in part because this was the anniversary of his birth and death.  April is a good month for birthdays.  At any rate I had thought to do a Shakespeare-themed JOW but most of the humor about the Bard of Avon is way too esoteric for popular amusement.  While looking around I wound up falling into a ‘rabbit hole’ of feghoots and memes.  I barely escaped with my sanity. 

Here are a few jokes related to the Immortal Bard followed by some examples of low humor.

One blonde asks another blonde,” Have you read Shakespeare?”

“I dunno, who wrote it?”

…………………………..

Here are some actual student bloopers about the Bard of Avon collected by teachers from 8th grade through college.

·         He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday.

·         He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays.

·         He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.

·         Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet.

·         Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

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There are a lot of Shakespearian feghoots - that is stories with awful puns related to well know sayings and quotes at the end; and nobody has more famous quotes than Shakespeare.   Of course you must know the quotation to get the joke.  So you have to know the quotation in ‘Julius Caesar’ about Cassius to get the comment about small cashews “Yon cashews hath a lean and hungry look.”

My favorite Shakespeare feghoot is the sign on the camping goods store: "Now is the discount of our winter tents!".

Here are some more non Shakespeare feghoots

Prof San Holo was busy at his lab. He was experimenting with splicing genetic material from rams into eggs of bees. With global warming, certain species of flowering plants flourish while others perish. The idea was to give bees the ability to digest leaves and grass to make honey and thereby reduce the need to be reliant on nectar and pollen from flowers.

The first splicing was a disaster. The bee digestive system became dysfunctional.

The second attempt disrupted the honey production with lactose contaminant

The bee grew tiny horns in the third!

He then tried DNA from a sheep and Eureka! Yes indeed. It worked because he 

Made the Fourth Bee with Ewe.

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At 4pm, White Pawn Alice made it to the 8th rank. She simultaneously captured the Red Queen, was crowned as a White Queen and checkmated the Red King. This was surely a case of when the Reign is Canceled because of the Game.

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"I dare you to stay in that haunted mansion at midnight" Timmy challenged Sammy "Ten bucks says you can't"

"I... I'll do it" Sammy stammered

At midnight a trembling Sammy slowly made his way into the courtyard and waited. It was here 20 years ago that an 8 year old child had fallen off her bicycle. She had hit her head on the concrete floor and died.

Thirty slow minutes ticked away. Suddenly, an apparition materialized. It was a ghostly image of a child cycling away in a circle! Sammy took out the camera with his jittery hands and clicked. Oh no! He had forgotten to charge the battery! The flash barely came on. The ghost quickly vanished and Sammy ran out.

Sadly, the photo was severely underexposed and nothing could be seen. It seems that the Spirit is Wheeling but the Flash is Weak.

Finally here are some annoying memes

A meme is an idea, behavior, or style that spreads from person to person within a culture.  Like the commercials with the old bearded guy who is supposed to be interesting.   Maybe he is Chuck Norris’ father or something.

·         “I don’t often drink beer, so you probably shouldn’t value my opinion of it.”

·         “I don’t always scan an important document, but when I do I always leave it, forgotten, on the scanner bed for a week or so.

·         “I don’t always drink cola, but when I do I enjoy Pensacola.”

·         “I don’t always do memes, but when I do it is to entertain my friends.”