I am simply astonished at the ongoing riots by
Leftists after their candidate lost the election. I watched a young woman being interviewed
with burning and rioting going on right behind her. When asked why they were rioting she
answered, without the slightest bit of irony, that they were demonstrating for
‘peace and justice.’ Peace – right; by
battling the cops. Another tearful woman
went on nice little rant about how Trump is not her president. “I did not vote for him, he does not
understand me and my people, he holds our culture in contempt, and does not
represent my values.” Yup – that pretty
much sums up how I felt for the last eight years. Here is some advice for her: Suck it up
buttercup - the Republic will endure.
Oh, by the way, I can no longer say that ‘I loathe Donald Trump. Now I have to say, ‘I loathe President Donald
Trump.’
Enough politics, here are some jokes. And
thank God the election is over…
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Paul is being interrogated by the Russian
government:
Govt. Official: “If you had a yacht,
what would you do with it?”
Paul: “Give it to Mother Russia.”
Govt. Official: “And if you had a palace, what
would you do with it?”
Paul: “Give it to Mother Russia.”
Govt. Official: “And if you had a sweater,
what would you do with it?”
No reply.
Government official asks the question again.
And still not reply.
Finally he shouts: “Paul, why don’t you
reply?”
Paul: “Because I have a sweater.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Sunday a customer called wanting to buy a
large aquarium from a pet store.
“And by the way, I’ve spent a lot of money at
your store over the years,” he said.
“I think I should get a discount.”
“Only our owner can give a discount,” I
explained, “and he won’t be in until tomorrow.”
When the customer said that he’d come in the
next day, I asked him if there was anything else I could help him with.
“Sure,” he said. “Where is your store
located?”
“”””””””””””””””””””
On a related note, I used to work for the Navy
in San Diego. Every year there was a big
airshow at Miramar Naval Air Station and every year there were complaints about
windows cracked from the low flying jets.
Our public relations office fielded one such
call from a lady who informed them that the noise from our jets during the air
show had put a big crack in her expensive plate glass window.
“Um, ma’am, the air show hasn’t been held
yet. It is not until next week,”
explained the PR officer.
Long pause at the other end of the line. “Oh, that is alright, I’ll just call back
next week.”
******************
During
a meeting, a company held a contest to name a new project.
As
members of the management team read through the entries, the CEO picked one out
and asked:
“Who
knows what a phoenix is?”
A
junior manager answered, “It’s the bird in Harry Potter.”
Damn
Millennials…
+++++++++++++
A mother was in a shoe store and a little girl
was playing on the floor. The mom kept asking her to stand up but the little
girl would continue rolling around the floor. Finally she rolled under her
mom's legs and looked up and said loudly: "WHY DON'T YOU HAVE ON ANY
PANTIES?"
The mom quickly dragged her out of the store.
Here is a story from a certain
bartending waiter I know.
I was in a bar one night and a couple was
breaking up. She was yelling at him because he didn't want to buy her another
drink, because, lo and behold, she was drunk and making an ass out of herself.
To finish her tirade she scream in a high pitch annoying voice: "...And
every time we did it, I faked it!"
To which he looked at her deadpan and calmly
asked:
"What makes you think I was doing you for
your benefit?"
The bar went wild as she stormed out.
……………………..
It is the year 2066. Scientists in the space
colony on Mars are testing the feasibility of using animals to navigate the
natural landscape.
They decide to send a cat in a spacesuit with
a radio collar and a camera to roam around and look for some of the old Mars
rovers.
After a day, they notice the radio collar
hasn’t been moving in several hours.
The scientists go over to the location of the
radio collar and discover the remains of a cat that had been run over by one of
the old Mars rovers.
Upon reviewing the camera footage, they
discover something truly disconcerting:
Curiosity killed the cat.
---------------
A stranger walks up to an Egyptian man at the
Cairo bazaar and offers to sell him contraband Viagra for 50 Egyptian pounds.
The Egyptian man says: “No, not worth it.”
The stranger says: “How about 20?”
The Egyptian man says: “No, not worth it.”
The stranger says: “How about 10?”
The Egyptian man says: “No, not worth it.”
The stranger says: “Listen, these pills cost
$10 each in the U.S. How can you say they’re not worth it?”
The Egyptian man says: “Oh, the pills are
worth it, my wife isn’t.”
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