Another old JOW #992

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.

Some thoughts on aging provided by Bill:

I remember being able to get up without making sound effects…. Good times.

Age gets better with wine

Think old and you will be old.  Think young and you are delusional.

When I was a kid I wanted to be older.  This 3hit is not what I expected.

If you want to get a ‘smoking hot body’ just come to Texas this time of year and walk out to your car in the afternoon.

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. 

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. 

You know you are old when you get upset when they rearrange the things in the grocery store.

The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends. 

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL. 

Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.   Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body…but rather to skid in broadside, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, 

"WOW - WHAT A RIDE!"

Be careful of old men.  We can’t outfight you, and we can’t outrun you, so we will just have to kill you.  And the older we get, the less ‘life in prison’ is a deterrent.

Out wants and needs change as we age

Then                                        Now

Long hair                                 longing for hair
KEG                                          EKG

Acid Rock                                Acid Reflux

Seeds & stems                         Fiber

Rolling Stones                         Kidney Stones (also still Rolling Stones, too)

Whatever                                Depends

Disco                                       Costco

Hoping for a BMW                  Hoping for a BM

Going to a new, hip joint        Getting a new hip joint

I bought a new pair of shoes with memory foam inserts.  No more forgetting why I walked into the kitchen.

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were walking, and one said,

"Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one," replied the man.

He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

Julie Andrews has publically stated that she will no longer endorse cheap brightly colored lip gloss products as they tend to crumble too easily and also give her bad breath.   Or to put it in song: ‘Super fragile color lipsticks give me halitosis.’