Prayerful JOW #1018

I have been thinking about prayer lately.  I am confident prayer works; when I had my brain tumor many of you prayed for me (or perhaps for my surgeons) with good results.  So I am confident in the power of prayer.  When Nancy Pelosi says she is praying for Donald Trump, I believe her - and I recommend Donald Trump get himself a good checkup from his oncologist. 

Here are a few jokes about prayer:

‘’’’’’’’’’

So far today, God, I've done all right. I haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or over-indulgent. I'm really glad about that. But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.

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A young boy called the pastor of a local ‘corner’ church to ask the pastor to come by to pray for his mother who had been very ill with the flu.  The pastor knew the family and was aware they had been attending another church down the road. So the pastor asked, "Shouldn't you be asking Brother Simon down the road to come by to pray with your mom?" 
The young boy replied, "Yeah, but we didn't want to take the chance that he might catch whatever this is that Mom has."

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They have Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now.  You call up and it rings and rings but nobody answers.

>>>>>>>>>> 

Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is definitely best," claimed one.      

"No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven."      

"You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor."      

The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas, "he interrupted, "the best prayin' I ever did was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."

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A journalist was assigned to the Jerusalem bureau of his newspaper. He gets an apartment overlooking the Western Wall. After several weeks he realizes that whenever he looks at the wall he sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously.   The journalist wondered whether there was a publishable story here. He goes down to the wall, introduces himself and says: "You come every day to the wall. What are you praying for?"      

The old man replies: "What am I praying for? In the morning I pray for world peace, then I pray for the brotherhood of man. I go home, have a glass of tea, and I come back to the wall to pray for the eradication of illness and disease from the earth."      

The journalist is taken by the old man's sincerity and persistence. "You mean you have been coming to the wall to pray every day for these things?"      The old man nods.      "How long have you been coming to the wall to pray for these things?"      

The old man becomes reflective and then replies: "How long? Maybe twenty, twenty-five years."      

The amazed journalist finally asks: "How does it feel to come and pray every day for over 20 years for these things?"      

"How does it feel?" the old man replies. "It feels like I'm talking to a wall."

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The temporary Sunday school teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it.
Finally she went to the pastor's study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial.
After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment.
Finally he looked serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently.
Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock.
The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she said.
"It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

A little boy was kneeling beside his bed with his mother and grandmother and softly saying his prayers, "Dear God, please bless Mummy and Daddy and all the family and please give me a good night's sleep."
Suddenly he looked up and shouted, "And don't forget to give me a bicycle for my birthday!!"
"There is no need to shout like that," said his mother. "God isn't deaf."
No," said the little boy, "but Grandma is."

>>>>>>>>>> 

There was once a Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist.  Everyday, when the lady prayed, the atheist guy could hear her. He thought to himself, "She sure is crazy, praying all the time like that. Doesn't she know there isn't a God?"
Many times, he would go to her house and harass her, saying "Lady, why do you pray all the time? Don't you know there is no God?" But she kept on praying.
One day, she ran out of groceries. As usual, she was praying to the Lord explaining her situation and thanking Him for what He was going to do.
The atheist heard her praying and thought to himself. "Hmph . . .I'll fix her."  He went to the grocery store, bought a whole bunch of groceries, took them to her house, dropped them off on the front porch, rang the doorbell and then hid in the bushes to see what she would do. When she opened the door and saw the groceries, she began to loudly praise the Lord with all her heart, jumping,  and shouting.
The atheist then jumped out of the bushes and told her, "You ol' crazy lady, God didn't buy you those groceries, I bought those groceries!"
Well, she began praising the Lord even louder.  "I knew the Lord would provide me with some groceries, but I didn't know he was gonna make the devil pay for them!"