Questionable JOW #1209

 Why are you having a JOW based on questions, you ask?  Couldn’t I think of any other topic besides focusing primarily on humorous inquiries?  Will all the jokes be about questions?  And are at least some of them going to be funny? Will there be any more questions?  

 

If people who take care of sheep called shepherds, shouldn’t people who take care of chickens called chicken tenders?

 

How much ‘No More Tears’ shampoo do you have to rub in a baby's eyes before it stops crying?

 

If you get hemmed in by a bunch of Santas do you get Claustraphobia?

 

Is a bull dozer a napping bull?

 

If a bull terrier is a cross between a bulldog and a terrier, what would you call a cross between a bulldog and a Shih Tzu?

 

·         What game do you play with a wombat.  Why wom, of course.

·         What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

·         What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?   A dinosnore.

·         What do you call a snobby criminal walking down the steps? A condescending con descending.

·         What do you call something that’s easy to get into, but hard to get out of?  Trouble.

·         What do you call a bagel that can fly?  A plane bagel.

 

 

A couple of grimmer questions

I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask way too many personal questions.

Like, "Who's blood is this?", "Where did you get it?  and, "Why is it in a bucket?”

 

I hate when you're over someone's house and they start asking you stupid questions.

Like "who are you" and "is that a gun?"

 

My 9-year-old son has started asking awkward questions about the human body...

I suppose the freezer wasn't the best place to hide it.

 

An innocent riddle

 

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one,

Brad Pitt's is short,

Madonna does not have one,

and the Pope doesn't use it.
What is it?
A last name.

Adam goes up do God to ask him a question

"God, why did you make Eve so beautiful?"
"So that you could love her, my child" came the simple reply.
Adam is happy with the answer, and asks another question: "But why did you make her so dumb?"
"So that she could love you."

 

If you're questioning your sexuality...

You probably aren't thinking straight.

 

Should we call all these guys who transition to females ‘EX-Men’?

 

And if Elon Musk bought the Tampa Bay Rays would he rename them the X-Rays

 

Q: What do you call someone that saw an iPhone being stolen?
A: An iWitness.

 

I heard that the easiest word to spell is ‘icy’.  Looking at it I see why.  (say it out loud)

 

Here are four questions to test your problem solving skills

Question 1: How would you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. (This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.)

 

Question 2: How would you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

The correct answer: Same as above? Wrong. Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant, and close the door. (This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.)

 

Question 3: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All animals attend, except one. Which animal does not attend?

The correct answer: The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. (This tests your memory.)

 

Question 4: There is a river you must cross, but it is known to be frequented by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage to cross?

The correct answer: You just jump into the river and swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference. (This tests whether you learn from your mistakes.)

~~~~~~~

In Ireland there is a tradition that a dying man may ask one last question, and that it must be answered truthfully.

Seamus had come to the end of his days; his time on this planet was short. Gathered around him was his wife and his four sons. Three of his sons were fine, tall men but the fourth...wasn't. Aiden was a bit scrawny, and quite thin. Seamus says to his wife:
"Mary...I've not much time left. So, I want to ask you something that's bothered me for many a day. Please tell me the truth...is Aiden really my son?"
Mary says "Seamus, as God is my witness, I swear on all that's good and holy that Aiden is indeed your child."
With that Seamus breathed a sigh of relief, his last breath in this world. Mary closed his eyes, pulled the blanket over his face and said:
"Whew...thank God he didn't ask about the other three!"

 

And finally, a longer joke about a Question:

There was a boy that had a question about God. He goes to his local priest to see if he has an answer. The boy presents the question and the priest is completely at a loss of words. The question is so challenging that he could not give an answer. Unwilling to let the boy go unsatisfied without an answer, the priest takes the boy to a local bishop that knows even more about religion than the priest
The boy approaches the bishop and asks him the same question. Again, the bishop has no answer that will satisfy any of the parties. Seeing that the boy is getting discouraged that no one can answer the question the bishop sends the boy directly to the Vatican to talk to the pope.
This pope was very popular among the people. And he knew everything. He was so smart they called him Pope the Wise. The boy walks up to the pope and asks him the question. The pope begins to answer but then gets choked up and realized that not even he has the answer for the question.
As all hope was just about to be lost, an old nun walks into the room. The nun asks the boy to ask her this famous question and the boy does. The nun formulates the most perfect answer to the boy’s question.  Everyone rejoices and all is good.
Except the pope looks a little upset. He exclaims
“This is impossible! Explain to me how a simple nun could be smarter than me! Pope the Wise!”
But she was Nun the Wiser