Cautionary JOW #440

My JOW this week is just full of cautionary warnings. You just can’t be too careful these days. Let me start with an example of not researching inputs; especially when cranky staff members are involved. I am not sure if this is a true story or not, but I can verify the accuracy of all the other elements such as the name of the rail line that goes around the park. The story rings true.

Some years ago, the famous San Diego Zoo opened a second, larger branch called the San Diego Wild Animal Park. The park is built around an enormous open-field enclosure where the animals roam free. To see the animals, visitors ride on a monorail called the Wgasa Bush Line which circles the enclosure. Here's the true story of how the Wgasa Bush Line got its name.
They wanted to give the monorail a jazzy, African sounding name. So they sent out a memo to a bunch of zoo staffers saying, "What shall we call the monorail at the Wild Animal Park?" One of the memos came back with "WGASA" written on the bottom. The planners loved it and the rest is history. What the planners didn't know was that the zoo staffer had not intended to suggest a name. He was using an acronym which was popular at the time. It stood for "Who Gives A Sh*t Anyhow?"

A cautionary tale from Tom & Martha
Two robins were sitting in a tree on a beautiful sunny day. One said to the other "Let’s go down and get some of those beautiful earthworms below."
Down they went where they pigged out. One said to the other, lets put our feet and bellies up in the air and bask in the sun. They did and quickly fell asleep
.Along came a big hungry cat who licked his lips and said
“Just what I needed, two big Baskin Robins!”

Another cautionary old joke
A sad-looking man sat at the bar in a crowded tavern. A drink sat on the bar in front of him, untouched. A beefy truck driver walked in, stepped up to the bar next to him, and waited impatiently to be served. When the bartender didn't appear, the truck driver looked over at the sad man's drink for a minute or two. Then he reached over, picked up the drink, and downed it in one gulp. The man sad looked up at him in shock and began to cry.
The truck driver, taken aback, felt contrite. Apparently this man had had a very bad day. He said, "Come on man, I was just joking. I'll buy you another drink. Just stop blubbering. I can't stand to see a grown man cry."
"It's not that," the sad man replied. "This day is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and got to my office late. My boss fired me. When I left the building to go to my car, I found out it had been stolen. The police said that they could do little or nothing. I got a cab to return home and when it drove away, I realized that I had left my wallet and credit cards on the back seat. I went inside and find my wife in bed with my best friend, so I left home and came to this bar. I was just thinking about putting an end to my life - when you showed up and drank my poison..."

Bil made this offering on the dangers of honest
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!

Finally, a cautionary 'tail' of shaggy prawn jokes
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I were a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..."
Just then a mysterious codfish appeared and said, "Your wish is granted!" and, lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time went on (as it invariably does...) and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old friends simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin realized that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While out swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and couldn't believe his luck - he figured the fish could change him back into a prawn. He begged the cod to change him back,
"Your wish is granted!" - lo and behold - he became a prawn again.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's worse.)
Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal but he wasn't there. "Where's Christian?" he asked.
"He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark," came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened the gate the memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin - your old friend! Come out and see me again!"
Christian replied "No way man, you'll eat me. You're a shark, the enemy. I'll not be tricked."
Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed!"

(Wait for it...)



...."I've found Cod, I'm a prawn again, Christian!"