Cajun JOW

I was in New Orleans last week. Now that I am no longer working for HP, I may be spending more time there doing contract work. There are lots of good Cajun jokes. Things like “How do you know you are in a Cajun Zoo? There are two plaques by each of the animal enclosures. One describing the animal, one providing a recipe.
So here are a few “you might be” bits followed by a couple of Cajun jokes.

YOU MIGHT BE A CAJUN IF...
• Watching "Wild Kingdom" inspires you to write a cookbook.
• You won't eat a lobster because you think it's a crawfish on steroids
• You take a bite of 5-alarm Texas chili and reach for some Tabasco.
• You pass up a chance to meet the president to go to the Crawfish Festival in Breaux Bridge.
• You're asked to name the four seasons and you reply, "Onions, celery, bell peppers, and garlic."
• You let your coffee cool and find it has gelled.
• You describe a complete breakfast as some deer sausage and a yard of boudin.
• None of your favorite vacation spots are north of Abbeville.
• You sit down to eat boiled crawfish and someone says, "Don't eat the dead ones" and you know what they mean.
• You refer to Louisiana winters as "gumbo weather"
• You gave up Tabasco for Lent.
• You don't know the real names of your close friends - only their nicknames.
• Your high school's rendition of the national anthem begins with, "Jambalaya, crawfish pie, and a filet gumbo..."

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A Cajun discovered himself in Hell. He looked around awhile, then went to work shoveling brimstone.
The devil came up to him and said, "How you like it here, my friend? It's hard work and it's hot, yeah?"
The Cajun just smiled and answered, "It not so bad. The work is steady. I got no problem with steady work. And it ain't so hot. You think this is hot? Man, I'm from south Louisiana --- It hot there, my fren! This ain't nothing." He just laughed and went back to work singing and having a high old time.
Satan, being a former Texan, did not like Cajuns. He said to himself, "I'll get him. So he don't mind the hot, huh?" Satan waved a hand and the whole place was suddenly ice and snow, solid. And he said, "That'll fix dat fool!"
When he went back to check on the Cajun, he found him jumping up and yelling and laughing and clapping and dancing. So Satan said, "Man, what's wrong with you?!"
The Cajun smiled big and replied, "The Saints done won the Super Bowl!

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Boudreaux won $10 million in the Louisiana lottery last week. Bright and early the next morning, he got in his Country Cadillac, and drove all the way to Baton Rouge to collect his money. When he walked in, he told the lottery man, "Hey, I'm Boudreaux, the lottery winner, and I'm here to collect my money!"
The lottery man said, "Well, Mr. Boudreaux, it doesn't work like that. You can't have the whole amount at one time, but we will pay you half a million a year for the next twenty years."
Boudreaux, upset, told the man, "Mais, no, sha, I won the lottery and I want all my money right now. I don' want to wait for twenty years to get it !"
The man tried to calm Boudreaux down, telling him that's how the lottery works.
Boudreaux, really angry now, said, "Mais, if dats de way y'all wanta be, jus' never mind! Here's your damn ticket --- gimme my dollar back!"

Bil provided this ‘case study’

If you've ever worked for a boss that reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this!
Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall.
The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.
He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, 'How much money do you make a week?'
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, 'I make $400 a week... Why?'
The CEO then handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed, 'Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back.'
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, 'Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here? '
From across the room came a voice, 'Pizza delivery guy from Domino's.'

Some people are interested in anagrams. Here are a few “thought provokers”

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

HE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME