Old Groaner JOW

My work will be taking me back to the Bayou Country later in the week so I thought to get my JOW out a bit early this week. I was reviewing my old JOWs looking for some inspiration. It surprised me how many jokes were repeated; I have joke in my records that have been sent to me repeatedly. Sometimes from the phrasing I am pretty sure they were put out by me as a JOW; the biter bit! I also became aware of just how much water was under the bridge when I saw comments like ‘I still have three teenagers.’ Wow, that was a while ago. At any rate, I came up with some groaners, also known as shaggy dog stories or outrageous puns. They are old, but then most jokes are. Hope you enjoy them anyway.

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Sheila loved her two dogs, but they were very disobedient, so she decided to take them to obedience classes.
The class was run by an old man. He was very strict but seemed to get good results, and after several months of regular attendance things had improved to such a degree that Sheila was even considering entering her pets into his obedience competition.
Then, shortly before the completion, disaster struck. Sheila had to baby-sit for her young nephew Bartholomew. All evening, the boy teased the dogs, and by the end of the day both dogs were back to their old habits - all the hard work and training was undone in a single evening; it was as if they had never been to class at all.
Worst of all, it was the day before the competition, and she had already registered her entry. What could she do? In desperation, Sheila decided to call a friend of hers who also had two dogs of the same breed who looked like her dogs and were well behaved. Explaining the situation, Sheila asked if she could borrow the two good dogs. Her friend agreed, and Sheila arrived as usual with two well-behaved dogs.
But the old man wasn't fooled for a moment - as soon as he saw them he knew they were the wrong dogs, so he called Sheila over to the side of the class.
"It was a good try," he said sternly "but don’t you know, you can't trick an old teach with new dogs."

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One day (just before Christmas, probably), Good King Wenceslas decided that he was fed up with the food at the palace, so he phoned up his local Italian restaurant for a takeaway pizza.
"Certainly, your Majesty" says the Manager, "Would you like your usual"?
"Yes please, same as always,” said King Wenceslas breaking into song, "deep pan, crisp and even"

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Two men got into a heated argument about which was the most impressive river in the world. The first man was an Egyptian, and was quite confident that the Nile was absolutely the best river in the world - he cited the stunning scenery and the thousands of years of history around it. The other man was an American, who believed that the Mississippi was better. He talked about the way the river had helped to open up the continent, and the great cities that had developed along its banks.
They argued about it for hours, until finally, another fellow stepped in, and stopped the argument.
He managed to convince them that both rivers were equally impressive, because, after all as everyone knows –
A Miss. is as good as the Nile

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A group of dentists decided to set up a new surgery. Since competition in their area was quite fierce, they wanted their new business to have something unique about it.
After much thought, they decided to set up shop on board a boat, moored on the banks of the river. As an added bonus, they also offered river crossings in the boat, with the dentistry work being performed during the crossing.
The business quickly became known as the Tooth Ferry.