Kid Raising JOW #528

In addition to a few jokes this JOW is also an invitation to come to my home on Saturday, October 30 for the resumption of the annual Pinney Chili Cook-off birthday celebration and general get together. It is an opportunity for friends, acquaintances, and perfect strangers to get together for good food and conversation. Although the theme is based around chili con carne and there will be a variety of samples of this most protein of dishes, it is not necessary to bring any to enjoy the day. The event will start sometime after noon and will go on until well after dark. Once you hit 60, “after dark” is the equivalent of “into the wee small hours.”
I had the opportunity to visit with my charming and lovely granddaughters, aged 3 & 5 this past weekend. (Photos are available upon request.) They gave me the idea of having a kid raising JOW.

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A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her ``no.'' The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, ``Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don't get upset. It won't be long.''
He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn't have any, she began to sob. The mother said, ``Please, Ellen, don't cry. Only two more aisles to go, and then we'll be checking out.''
The man again happened to be behind the pair at the check-out, where the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a tantrum upon discovering there would be no gum purchased today. The mother patiently said, ``Ellen, we'll be through this checkout stand in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a nice nap.''
The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. ``I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Ellen...''
The mother broke in, ``My little girl's name is Tammy... I'm Ellen.''

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Here are some observations about children and bringing them up.
*For adult education, nothing beats children.
*A young child is a noise with dirt on it.
*God invented mothers because he couldn't be everywhere at once. And we have guilt because mothers can’t be everywhere at once.
*Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.
*There is no such thing as childproofing your house.
*Never ask a 3-year-old to hold a tomato.
*A 4-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
*If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing a superman cape.
*Lego's will safely pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
*Super glue is forever.

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The Toddler's Creed (by Collette @ gte.net)
If I want it, it's mine.
If I give it to you and change my mind later, it's mine.
If I can take it away from you, it's mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
If it's mine it will never belong to anyone else no matter what.
If we are building something together, all the pieces are mine.
If it looks like mine, it's mine.

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A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with 'Once Upon A Time?'"
He replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If elected I promise...'"

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Finally, I came across this scholarly article in one of Ruth’s medical journals. It seems that scientific medicine has discovered yet another medical condition:

Childhood Syndrome

Childhood is a syndrome which has only recently begun to receive serious attention from clinicians. The syndrome itself, however, is not at all recent. As early as the 8th century, the Persian historian Kidnom made references to ``short, noisy creatures,'' who may well have been what we now call ``children.'' The treatment of children, however, was unknown until this century, when so-called ``child psychologists'' and ``child psychiatrists'' became common. Despite this history of clinical neglect, it has been estimated that well over half of all Americans alive today have experienced childhood directly (Suess, 1983). In fact, the actual numbers are probably much higher, since these data are based on self-reports which may be subject to social desirability biases and retrospective distortion.

Causes of Childhood

Now that we know what it is, what can we say about the causes of childhood? Recent years have seen a flurry of theory and speculation from a number of perspectives. Some of the most prominent are reviewed below. Sociological Model Emile Durkind was perhaps the first to speculate about sociological causes of childhood. He points out two key observations about children:
the vast majority of children are unemployed, and
children represent one of the least educated segments of our society.
In fact, it has been estimated that less than 20% of children have had more than fourth grade education. Clearly, children are an ``out-group.'' Because of their intellectual handicap, children are even denied the right to vote. From the sociologist's perspective, treatment should be aimed at helping assimilate children into mainstream society. Unfortunately, some victims are so incapacitated by their childhoodism that they are simply not competent to work. One promising rehabilitation program (Spanky and Alfalfa, 1938) has trained victims of severe childhood to sell lemonade.

Biological Model

The observation that childhood is usually present from birth has led some to speculate on a biological contribution. An early investigation by Flintstone and Jetson (1959) indicated that childhood runs in families. Their survey of over 8,000 American families revealed that over half contained more than one child. Further investigation revealed that even most non-child family members had experienced childhood at some point. Cross-cultural studies (e.g., Mowgli & Din, 1910) indicate that family childhood is even more prevalent in the Far East. For example, in Indian and Chinese families, as many as three out of four family members may have childhood. Impressive evidence of a genetic component of childhood comes from a large-scale twin study by Brady and Partridge (1972). These authors studied over 106 pairs of twins, looking at concordance rates for childhood. Among identical or monozygotic twins, concordance was unusually high (0.92), i.e., when one twin was diagnosed with childhood, the other twin was almost always a child as well.

Psychological Models

A considerable number of psychologically-based theories of the development of childhood exist. They are too numerous to review here. Among the more familiar models are Seligman's ``learned childishness'' model. According to this model, individuals who are treated like children eventually give up and become children. As a counterpoint to such theories, some experts have claimed that childhood does not really exist. Barney (1993) has called ``childhood'' an expedient label. In seeking conformity, we handicap those whom we find unruly or too short to deal with by labeling them ``children.''

Treatment of Childhood

Efforts to treat childhood are as old as the syndrome itself. Only in modern times, however, have humane and systematic treatment protocols been applied. In part, this increased attention to the problem may be due to the sheer number of individuals suffering from childhood. Government statistics (DHHS) reveal that there are more children alive today than at any time in our history. To paraphrase P.T. Barnum: ``There's a child born every minute.''
The overwhelming number of children has made government intervention inevitable. The nineteenth century saw the institution of what remains the largest single program for the treatment of childhood -- so-called ``public schools.'' Under this colossal program, individuals are placed into treatment groups based on the severity of their condition. For example, those most severely afflicted may be placed in a ``kindergarten'' program. Patients at this level are typically short, unruly, emotionally immature, and intellectually deficient. Given this type of individual, therapy is essentially one of patient management and of helping the child master basic skills (e.g. finger-painting). Unfortunately, the ``school'' system has been largely ineffective. Not only is the program a massive tax burden, but it has failed even to slow down the rising incidence of childhood. Faced with this failure and the growing epidemic of childhood, mental health professionals are devoting increasing attention to the treatment of childhood. Given a theoretical framework by Freud's landmark treatises on childhood, child psychiatrists and psychologists claimed great successes in their clinical interventions. By the 1950's, however, the clinicians' optimism had waned. Even after years of costly analysis, many victims remained children. The following case (taken from Gumbie & Pokey 1967) is typical.
After years of this kind of frustration, startling new evidence has come to light which suggests that the prognosis in cases of childhood may not be all gloom. A critical review by Fudd (1942) noted that studies of the childhood syndrome tend to lack careful follow-up. Acting on this observation, Moe, Larrie, and Kirly (1939) began a large-scale longitudinal study. These investigators studied two groups. The first group consisted of 34 children currently engaged in a long-term conventional treatment program. The second was a group of 42 children receiving no treatment. All subjects had been diagnosed as children at least 4 years previously, with a mean duration of childhood of 6.4 years. At the end of one year, the results confirmed the clinical wisdom that childhood is a refractory disorder -- virtually all symptoms persisted and the treatment group was only slightly better off than the controls. The results, however, of a careful 10-year follow-up were startling. The investigators (Moe, Larrie, Kirly, & Shemp, 1943) assessed the original cohort on a variety of measures. General knowledge and emotional maturity were assessed with standard measures. Height was assessed by the ``metric system'' (see Ruler, 1923), and legume appetite by the Vegetable Appetite Test (VAT) designed by Popeye (1958). Moe et al. found that subjects improved uniformly on all measures. Indeed, in most cases, the subjects appeared to be symptom-free. Moe et al. report a spontaneous remission rate of 95%, a finding which is certain to revolutionize the clinical approach to childhood.

Clearly, much more research is needed before we can give any real hope to the millions of victims wracked by this insidious disorder.