This little piggie JOW

I started out to use some great jokes sent to me by Martha, but then I somehow got off into swine-related humor. Pigs, or at least the concept of pigs, can be very funny. So here are some pig jokes with a few extras thrown in. Enjoy.

Are two of my favorite pig jokes

Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's
door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he ask,
"Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"
"Well Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar
attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a
runnin', went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"
"And the boar tore up his leg?"
"No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire - started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and 'fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and
saved 'em all!"
"So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?"
"No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I came to, that pig had dove into the pond and dragged me out 'fore I drownded. Sure did save my life."
"And that was when he hurt his leg?"
"Oh no, he was fine. Going in the pond cleaned him up, too."
"OK, Fred. So just tell me. How did he get the wooden leg?"
"Well", the farmer tells him, "A pig like that, you don't want to eat all at once."

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A Hindu, priest, rabbi and a lawyer were driving down the road, when the car breaks down. Fortunately finding a farmhouse nearby, the farmer informed them that he had only one spare room, and that it had only two twin beds.
They were welcome to it, but one of them had to sleep in the barn. After much discussion, the Hindu volunteered to go to the barn. A few moments later, a knock on the bedroom door, and the Hindu explained that there was a cow in the barn, and cows are sacred and he could not possibly sleep in the barn with a cow.
Annoyed, the rabbi volunteered. A few moments later, there was a knock on the door. The rabbi explained that there was a pig in the barn and that he, being very orthodox, could not possibly spend the evening in the barn with the origin of pork.
Finally the lawyer said that he would go to the barn.
A few moments later there was a knock on the door. It was the cow and the pig.

Some silly pig riddles

Q: What does a pig write with?
A: A pig pen.

Q: Who does a pig write to?
A: Her pen pals.

Q: What stories do pigs tell their children?
A: PIG tales

Q: Where does a pig go to get a new tail?
A: To a re-tail store.

Q: What do you call a karate move made by a pig?
A: A pork chop.

Q: What do you call a pig that is carried across a river in a small boat?
A: A rowed hog.

**********************
An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.
"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."
The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."

On a non-pig note, here are two more.

An ant knocks on the door of a house. The homeowner opens the door. "I want a place to stay," says the ant.
"I have a vacant room you can stay in for free," says the owner.
The next day the ant brings in another ant and asks, "Can you please allow this ant to stay with me?"
"Oh sure, you can do that without paying any rent."
Some days later the ant brings one more ant and for the new ant to stay. Once again owner agrees without asking for any rent.
This continues as the ant brings in another ant and another. Then one day, the ant brings in the tenth ant and the owner to allow him to stay as well.
The owner says, "You can all stay here but you all must now pay rent."
You see, they had become tenants.

______________________________
Two rookie policemen were patrolling the small town's business district. They stopped at the local coffee shop for dessert. Soon, they got a call on their police radio, "33 in progress, man in bank dressed as a banana."
There was only one bank in town, just across from the coffee shop. And a 33 is an armed robbery. The men decided it was the dispatcher playing a joke on them so they continued enjoying their break.
Then they got a second call on their radio, "Repeat, Urgent, 33 in progress, man in bank dressed as a banana."
Realizing it was not a joke, they rushed across the street, but alas they arrived just seconds after the banana split.


Tom