Donated JOW

One of the advantages of sending out a Joke of the Week is that I get jokes back. I suppose we all get a fair amount of humor sent to us through the email system; still, I like the jokes people send me. It is very interesting how many versions of the same basic joke make the rounds; and sometimes I get a joke I have not heard before. So please continue to send me your offerings. I have picked a few of the latest for your amusement.

Charlie sent me several offerings for the JOW. Here are two of them:

A three year old observed her pregnant mom getting in the shower.
“Mommy, you’re getting fat,” she announced.
“Yes, honey, remember mommy has a baby growing in her belly,” explained the mother patiently.
“I know,” her daughter replied, “but what is growing in your behind?
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A little girl went to the barbershop with her father. She stood right next to her dad eating a snack cake while he had his hair cut.
The barber said to her, “Little girl, you’re gonna get some hair on your Twinkie.”
“Yes, I know, and mom says I am going to get boobs, too.”

Richard and I debated the merits of this Aggie joke. My people thought it was funny.

Two Texas A&M Aggies wearing their rings and typical Aggie gear stopped off at the bait shop to get some worms on their way to go bass fishing at Toledo Bend.
"How much for a can of worms", asked the young Aggie.
An Aggie himself, the proprietor said, "For you boys, take all you need for a dollar!"
Well, in that case," said the Aggie, "we'll take two dollars worth."

Mike sent me this one -

I was at a wedding reception recently and someone yelled ...
"Will all the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

This one was from Dan

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers.
One evening, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the Christmas gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who moved to Florida.
The first said, "You know I had a big house built for Mama."
The second said, "And I had a large theater built in the house."
The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."
The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took ten preachers almost 8 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $50,000 a year for five years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama only has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote: “Milton,
The house you built is so huge that I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole House. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin,
I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so never use the Mercedes. The thought was good, though. Thanks."

"Michael,
You gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound and it can hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin,
You were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you so much."

Love,
Mama