Here it is early May and I have
already used up my best Cinco de Mayo joke a couple of weeks ago.
I did hear someone on Saturday, 4 May say, ‘May the Fourth be with you.”
And that Star Wars reference got me wondering what would come next? ‘Revenge of the 5th?’ Of course those jokes would be better with a
nerdy lisp. I did not say they would be “good”
only better.
Before the jokes, an observation that as an
author I find to be distressingly accurate.
“What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley
feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no
one who wanted to read one.” Neil Postman who wrote Amusing
Ourselves to Death
Woops…time to
update my Facebook status… Tweet you later…
or maybe an email or Skype
My sisters submitted a couple of inputs to the JOW and I am pleased to
include them in this week’s offering.
·
Healthy
is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
·
I
used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of
natural causes.
·
Health
nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
·
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the
depth.
·
In the 60's, people took drugs to make the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take other drugs to make it normal.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
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A woman
received a call that her daughter was sick. She stopped by the
pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had
locked her keys inside. The woman found an old rusty coat hanger
left on the ground. She looked
at it and said "I don't know how to use this."
She bowed her head and asked God to send her HELP.
Within 5 minutes a beat up old motorcycle pulled up. A bearded man
who was wearing an old biker skull rag got off of his cycle and asked
if he could help. She said: "Yes, my daughter is sick. I’ve
locked my keys in my car. I must get home. Please, can you use
this hanger to unlock my car?"
He said "Sure."He walked over to the car, and in less than a
minute the car was open.
She hugged the man and through tears said "Thank You SO Much! You
are a very nice man."
The man replied "Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of
PRISON yesterday; I was in prison for car theft."
The woman hugged the man again sobbing, "Oh, thank you God! You
even sent me a Professional!"
Dick just
sent this to me – it is one I have not heard before
A couple was
Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the
mall was packed. As the wife walked through the mall
she was surprised to look up and
see her husband was nowhere
around. She was quite upset
because they had a lot to do.
Because she was so worried, she called
him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.
In a calm voice, the husband said,
"Honey, you remember the jewelry store we went into about 5 yrs
ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not
afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"
The wife choked up and started to cry
and said, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store."
He said, "Well,..... I'm in the
Golf store right next to it."
This is from
Tom and so is politically incorrect
Sue Wong marries Lee Wong The next year, the Wongs have a
new baby.
The nurse brings out a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a
Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.
'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents. 'Well Mr.
Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?' The puzzled
father looks at his new baby boy and says, 'Well, two Wong's don't
make a white, so I think we will name him..
Sum Ting Wong
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