I have never highlighted sarcasm in any of my previous 660 Jokes of the Week, in part because it is too often shallow and vicious and is also frequently lost in written format.   Sarcasm, the witty barb that makes its point by stating the opposite, requires that the intended victim – or any nearby hanger-on – be able to figure out what the attacker is thinking, and that usually requires verbal clues;  thus the failure of so much written sarcasm.  Sadly, and interestingly enough, those who have suffered a head injury are sometimes simply unable to comprehend sarcasm.  In sarcasm, ridicule or mockery is used harshly, often crudely and contemptuously, for destructive purpose; it is actually hostility disguised as humor.   Now I’m not saying all sarcasm is bad.  It’s just better used sparingly – like a potent spice in cooking.

But I thought I would give sarcasm a try.  After all, Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against Stupid.

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·         I am sorry I hurt your feeling when I called you stupid.  I though you already knew.  Maybe you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.  I mean, I don’t know what makes you so stupid but it really works.

·         Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.

·         Photoshop – helping ugly people look better in pictures since 1988.

·         “Join the National Sarcasm Society…. Like we need your support”

·         Join the National Apathy Society… or not….

·         Common sense has become so rare it is now classified as a super power.

·         Whenever I get a headache I take a couple of aspirin and keep away from children… just like it says on the bottle.

·         You should always be yourself.  Well, unless you can be a unicorn – then you should be a unicorn

·         ‘Immature’ is a word boring people use to describe fun people.

·         I have OCD and ADD so everything has to be perfect – but not for long.

·         Okay, so I have ADD; people don’t understand how – look a squirrel!

·         Six out of seven dwarfs are not Happy.

·         If you say ‘never say never’ haven’t you just said it twice?

·         My granddad has the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

·         With great power, comes a great electric bill

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Some more or less unrelated observations

When people say ‘Life is hard’ I am always tempted to say, ‘Compared to what?’ 

Grammar – It is the difference between misunderstandings like: ‘Lets eat Grandma’ and ‘Let’s eat, Grandma’ or   ‘Feeling your nuts’ and ‘feeling you’re nuts’

She sighed and asked him, “Do you think it's possible to fall in love in the space of a single day?"
He smiled. "I wouldn't know. I only fall in love at night and it never lasts beyond breakfast.” 

At the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms who brings the chips?

To people go to nudist camps to air their differences?  And how do you tell the blind guy at a nudist camp?  It’s not hard.

What did the stone and the yardstick say to each other?  “You rock!”  “You rule!”

What did the triangle say to the circle? “You’re pointless”

Sure, everybody makes fun of the redneck, until the Zombie Apocalypse. (And you know when the Zombie Apocalypse does happen I am going to have to pretend I am not excited.)

There are three kinds of people in world, those who can count and those who can’t.

When I was a kid I used to…. No wait, I still do that.  You know, pretending to be a mature adult can be so exhausting.

I guess the first 60 years of childhood are the hardest

I have gotten so big I no longer skinny dip, I chucky duck

I might look like fat to you, but it’s really a soft, protective cover for my rock-hard abs

My bucket list now consists of 1) beer and 2) ice.

I love to drink water.  Especially when it is frozen and surrounded by scotch

The police just never seem to think it is as funny as you do.

Having a great vocabulary did not save the Thesaurus from extinction/eradication/extirpation

So.  You.  Notice.  How. When. You.  Read. This. The. Little. Voice.  In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses?

I never really finish anythi