Differcnces between Men and Women JOW #750

According to new research women like to date men who make them laugh due to evolutionary differences hard-wired into our brains.  Scientists found that women's brains show greater activity than men's in reward-related regions in response to humor.  The finding is consistent with the theory that women have evolved to appreciate humor, whereas men have evolved to produce humor.  According to this view, women use a man's ability to make them laugh as a way to judge his genetic fitness as a suitable partner and potential father.  Of course women say the real reason is because men so ridiculous that they are just easier to laugh at.  And come to think of it, the whole theory may be wrong - you don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

Science also indicates that that men tend to fall in love with things they see and women tend to fall in love with something they hear.  This is why women wear makeup and men lie.

George Carlin may have put it best: women are crazy and men are stupid.  And the reason women are crazy if because men are stupid.

Dave Berry had some insight between men and women

Magazines:
Men: Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Men are turned on at the sight of a naked woman's body.
Women: Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day. Most naked men elicit laughter from women.

Bathrooms:
Men: A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
Women: The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man cannot identify most of these items.
Shoes:
Women: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk.
Men: A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day. Let's not talk about how many days he'll wear the same socks.

Cats:
Women: Women love cats.
Men: Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Children:
Women: A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.
Men: A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

The Phone:
Men: Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people.
Women: A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

Jewelry:
Women: Women look nice when they wear jewelry.
Men: A man can get away with wearing one ring and that's it. Any more than that and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.

Friends:
Women: Women on a girls' night out talk the whole time.
Men: Men on a boy's night out say about twenty words all night, most of which are "Pass the Doritos" or "got any more beer?"

Restrooms:
Women: Women use restrooms as social lounges. Women who've never met will leave a restroom giggling together like old friends. Women also go to the restroom in packs, at least two women at a time excuse themselves to use the restroom.
Men: Men use restrooms for purely biological reasons. Men in restrooms will never speak a word to each other. And never in the history of the world has a man excused himself from a restaurant table by saying, "Hey, Tom, I was just about to take a leak. Do you want to join me?"

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And from Clay:

Q: Why don’t cannibals eat divorced women?

A: Too bitter

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English, unlike languages such as Spanish or French, is a gender neutral language.  But if words did have a gender here are a few suggestions for those words’s gender:

·         Tire - male, because it goes bald and often is overinflated.

·         Sponges - female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

·         Hammer - male, because it hasn’t evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

·         Kidneys - female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

·         Ziploc Bags - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

·         Web Page - female, because it is always getting hit on.

·         Shoe - male, because it is usually unpolished, with it's tongue hanging out.

·         Remote Control - female, because it gives men pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

·         Swiss Army Knife - male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of it's time just opening bottles.

·         Copier - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up, it is an effective reproduction device when the right buttons are pushed, and it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

·         Hot Air Balloon - male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and of course, there's the hot air part.

·         Hourglass - female, because over time the weight shifts to the bottom.  (fooled you, didn’t I?)

·         Subway - male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.