Millennial JOW #1000

As this is the 1000^th JOW I thought I would do some Millennial humor.  I found that millennials have a dark and somewhat odd sense of humor.  There are numerous memes about the idea of calling bottled water ‘enslaved moisture.’  Like I said, odd. 

Millennials are in the prime of their lives – young, vigorous, and full of… crippling debt. That means they are 1st world poor. They own a smart phone and expensive laptop so they can go online and check that they have no money in the bank.  This leads to lots of ‘rent” jokes.

·         Look at all those millennials.  Walking around like they rent the place.

·         Millennial Monopoly.  You just go around the board paying rent because you can’t afford to buy anything. 

·         On Wheel of Fortune it would be:

Millennial contestant: “I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat.”

Pat Sajack: I’m sorry, but you’re a millennial.”

“Okay, I’d like to rent a vowel.”

And millennials are so obsessed with public healthcare.  Back in my day we just died.

Hand written  (printed of course) sign in a millennial coffee shop:

“Sorry, WiFi is down.  Talk to each other like it’s 1993”

I saw a hawk eating a piece of avocado toast.  I guess it was some kind of millennial falcon.

Millennials mock their parents for ‘not understanding technology’, then search for how to boil water on WikiHow.

Of course, my generation was the one that made the inventor of the ‘pet rock’ a millionaire.

A mom texts her millennial son, "Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?"

He texts back, "I Don't Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later."

The mom texts him, "It's ok, don't worry about it. I'll ask your sister, love you too."

I haven’t done any knock knock jokes for a while.  Here are a few quick ones.

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Hawaii. Hawaii who? I'm fine, Hawaii you?

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Voodoo. Voodoo who? Voodoo you think you are, asking me so many questions?

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Nana. Nana who? Nana your business.

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Amish.  Amish who? Really? You don't look like a shoe.

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Gorilla. Gorilla who? Gorilla me a hamburger.

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome.

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Turnip. Turnip who? Turnip the volume, I love this song!

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Adore. Adore who? Adore is between us. Open up!

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Aida. Aida who? Aida sandwich for lunch today.

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? No, car go "beep beep"!

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Icing. Icing who? Icing so loud, the neighbors can hear.

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca the trunk, you pack the suitcase.

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Cereal. Cereal who? Cereal pleasure to meet you!

·         Knock knock. Who's there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? Dang! All this time, I had no idea you could yodel.

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Keith! Keith who? Keith me, my thweet preenth!

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in it's cold out here.

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald my bubble gum!

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Sheesh, I know these jokes are corny, but you don't have to cry about it.

·         Knock knock. Who's there? Police. Police who? Police stop telling these awful knock-knock jokes!

And finally, non-sequitur jokes

A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, "Give me all the money or you're geography!"

The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or you're history?'"

The robber says, "Don't change the subject!"

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A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."