Grateful JOW #1006

I always enjoy Thanksgiving.  It gives me a reason to celebrate the astonishing good fortune we as a nation and I as an individual share. As a bonus, this time of year there is a hint of coolness in the mornings when I walk my dog.   I try to celebrate Thanksgiving by providing my family with the most expensive meat in the world: venison.  Why? Because they deserve it. 

I have done a lot of Thanksgiving jokes over the last 20 years but most of them aren’t all that funny to me.  Most are jokes about turkeys which always have a grim overtone.  Such as the one about the turkey trying to convince the Grinch to steal Thanksgiving this year.

Some turkey humor

·         The turkey to the horse.  ‘Dude, I have a ton of online followers and they all want me over for dinner.’

·         The medium looked at her turkey client and said, “I see you this Thanksgiving surrounded by family.  Well, not your family.

·         Imagine Thanksgiving turkey with surgeons.  “Who wants pectoralis major and who wants gastrocnemius?”

All too often Thanksgiving is viewed as more of a challenge than a celebration.  Here are a few quotes about the holidays

Thanksgiving is an emotional time.  People travel hundreds of miles to be with people they see only once a year.  And then discover that once a year is way too often.  – Johnny Carson

Cooking tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and then throw them out. – Nicole Hollander

Thanksgiving.  Not a good day to be my pants.  – Kevin James

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.   – Erma Bombeck

Some political Thanksgiving humor.

What is the Democrat’s favorite seafood?

Squid pro quo

And their favorite dessert?

Impeachment pie

And Donald Trump’s favorite bird these days?

U Crane

Some jokes about gratitude

A world famous painter in the prime of her career started losing her eyesight. Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world.
After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored. The painter was so grateful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor's office.
Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall. When she had finished her work, she held a press conference to unveil this latest work of art.
During the press conference, one reporter noticed the eye on the wall and asked the doctor, "What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office, especially that large eye on the wall?"
To this, the eye doctor responded, "I said to myself 'Thank Heavens I'm not a proctologist.'"

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The doctor gave his patient and good friend the news that with some simple pills the man would be completely healed.

The patient shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude and said, “Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I have mentioned you generously in my will.”

“That is very kind of you,” said the doctor emotionally, and then added, “May I see that prescription I just gave you? I’d like to make a little change…”

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A TV-crew is sent to interview a farmer.

"Could you please share with our viewers, how has the past year been for you?"
"Well, you know I am very grateful. I had a very good harvest of wheat, so my family definitely won't go hungry. My vegetable patches brought in amazing organic crops, I was able to sell those at a good profit. And most if my pig sows have had large litters of piglets, and that's great!"
"So would you like to express your gratitude to the President and his administration for your success?"
"Why the hell should I? Me and my family tended the land, fertilized it, put sweat and blood into it, the crops were a direct result of our hard work!"
"Well surely you have to give some credit to the President!"
"Yeah, if I think about it, I am not directly responsible for the piglets... If he wants to take credit for that, who am I to say it wasn't him?"

I must end this; time flies, even if turkeys don’t. Here are a few thoughts I try to remember

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.  Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.

During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes.

They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.

Oh, and don’t forget to turn your bathroom scales back ten pounds on Wednesday night.