My JOW is based on things
kids say. It is illuminating to see
their different perspectives on things.
I will begin with some of the issues of modern children with technology.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I was visiting a friend
who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her
young daughter said, “You know what they should invent? A phone that stays
connected to its base so it never gets lost.”
-------
On his first visit to our library,
the librarian gave a six-year-old boy a bookmark. More familiar with electronic
gadgets than old-school tools, he had no clue how it worked. So she demonstrated
by placing it between two pages, then closing the book. "When you start
reading again, voilà!" she said, opening the book to the bookmarked page.
"Wow!" he said, deeply impressed. "That’s cool!"
~~~~~~~~~~
A few weeks after the
death of his grandfather, a woman found her seven-year-old son crying in bed.
His grandmother had died the previous year, and he was taking it all very hard.
"You know,
Kyle," his mother said, "when we die, we'll get to see Grandma and
Grandpa again in heaven."
With tears spilling down his face, Kyle cried, "That's easy for you to
say. You don't have to wait that long!"
++++++
At our supermarket, I
noticed a woman with four boys and a baby. Her patience was wearing thin as the
boys called out, "Mommy! Mommy!" while she tried to shop.
Finally, she blurted out, "I don't want to hear the word mommy for at
least ten minutes!"
The boys fell silent for a few seconds. Then one of them tugged on his mother's
dress and said softly, "Excuse me, miss.
Here are some responses
to kids asked to complete sayings
It is always darkest
before Daylight
Savings Time
Never underestimate the
power of Termites
Don’t bit the hand that looks dirty
The pen is mightier than the pigs inside
Where there’s smoke
there’s pollution
Two’s company, three’s the Musketeers
There ae none so blind as Stevie Wonder
Children should be seen
and not spanked or grounded
A bird in the hand is
going to poop on you
A penny saved is not
much
A miss is as good as a mister
You can’t teach an old dog new math
Jack Sprat could eat no
fat. his
wife could eat no carbs.
And my personal favorite
Better late than pregnant
^^^^^^
A youngster was looking at the bathroom scale curiously. "Don’t go on that, Joey," warned
the boy’s slightly older brother. "It
makes people cry."
-----
A seven year old walking
through a casino for the first time observed, "This is like Chuck E.
Cheese for old people."
++++
JACK (age 3) was watching
his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked, “Mom, why
have you got two? Is one for hot milk and one for cold?”
MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old
she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, “If you don't remember you must
look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.”
STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. “I love you so much that
when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.”
BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to
take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a
child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the
little girl asked, “How does it know it's me?”
SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. “Please don't give
me this juice again,” she said. “It makes my teeth cough.”
CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his mom asked what was
troubling him, he replied, “I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I
get married. How will my wife fit in it?”
MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a
restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad, “Why is he
whispering in her mouth?”
TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled
woman her mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, “Why
doesn't your skin fit your face?”
JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read, “The man named Lot
was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back
and was turned to salt.” Concerned, James asked, “What happened to the flea?”
And finally, a story
about old people
There is nothing worse
than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in
a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have
experienced this, and I love the way this guy handled it.
A 69-year-old man walked
into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said,
'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'
'There's something wrong
with my dick', he replied.
The receptionist became
irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say
things like that. '
'Why not, you asked me
what was wrong and I told you,' he said.
The Receptionist replied;
'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should
have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the
problem further with the Doctor in private.'
The man replied, 'You
shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could
embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then
re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled
smugly and asked, 'Yes??'
'There's something wrong
with my ear,' he stated.
The Receptionist nodded
approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong
with your ear, Sir?'
'I can't piss out of it,'
he replied.
The waiting room erupted
in laughter...
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