Ten Russian and Chinese
ships recently conducted their first ever military exercise together in the
Pacific. This was probably in response
to recent big joint exercise held off Japan by seven different nations which included
four (4) aircraft carriers from three nations.
Coronavirus cases have been reported onboard the British Navy's flagship
HMS Queen Elizabeth. Other ships in the
fleet were told to keep their distance as she's a carrier.
English is
the mandated international language of the air.
An Iranian airliner landing in Indonesia talks to the tower in English.
Likewise, English has been recognized as Seaspeak, the international language
of the sea since 1988. That means that
when the Chinese and Russian fleets tried to work together all their voice
communications were in English. I find
that amusing. Of course, there are
language differences within our own services:If the Secretary of Defense
directed members of different services to secure a building.
The
Navy personnel turn off the lights and lock the door.
The Army personnel would occupy the building and ensured no one could enter.
The Marines would attack, capture it, and set up defenses.
The Air Force would negotiate a two-year lease with an option to buy.
Each branch has a military
ball (Navy Ball, Army Ball, etc.)
Now we have Space Command.
And it warms my heart to
know that one branch will be having "Space Balls" from here on out.
++++
Did you know Navy ships
run on commercial batteries?
They run on 7 C's
^^^^^^
In the French Navy, it's
considered unlucky to have the number 5 in a ship's name...
Because all of the ships
with that number in their name... cinq
>>>>>
What happens when you eat
too many Navy beans?
You might end up with a
dishonorable discharge.
------
A Navy Seal was being
interviewed by a news personality.
Discussing all the countries he had been sent to she asked him, “Did you
have to learn several languages?”
“No, ma’am, we don’t go
there to talk.”
^^^^^
A Navy SEAL, an Army
Ranger and a Delta Operator walk into a bar...
The Delta Operator orders
a shot of whisky, the Army Ranger has a beer, and the Navy SEAL writes a book
about it.
```````
I was thinking a bit about
Bin Laden. He stayed at home with three wives for five years. I'm beginning to
suspect he called the Navy Seals himself
~~~~~
A Navy Seal walks into a
bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his new Apple watch for a
moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "just got this state-of-the-art Apple
watch, and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special
about it?"
He says, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am
wearing panties!"
The Navy man smiled, taped his watch and said, "Darn thing's an hour
fast."
*****
Two cops are standing by
the street side in New York City. A foreigner approaches them looking slightly
panicked. "Parlez vous
Francais?" He asks them.
The cops, not knowing a
word of French merely shrug their shoulders at the man.
Frustrated, he asks them, "Ustedes hablan español?" Again, the cops
merely shrug.
The foreigner continues with the same result with Dutch, Russian, and German.
Eventually, he leaves, knowing that there's no hope for him to communicate with
the officers.
"I keep telling you we should learn more languages!" says one cop to
the other.
"Why?" he responds. "That man knows five, and it didn't get him
anywhere."
>>>>>>
The crusty Navy Master
Chief noticed a new face and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your
name, sailor?"
"John," the new seaman replied.
"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're
teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by his first
name," the chief scowled.
"It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I
refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, Jackson,
whatever.
And you are to refer to me as 'Chief.’ Do I make myself clear?"
"Aye, Aye, Chief!"
"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"
The seaman sighed. "Darling, My name is John Darling, Chief."
"Okay, John, here's what I want you to do ...."
_____
Airman Jones was assigned
to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government
benefits, especially their GI insurance.
It wasn’t long before Captain
Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate,
selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than ask
about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones’
sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new
recruits, and then said: “If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are
killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don’t
have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only
has to pay a maximum of $6000. Now,” he
concluded, “which group do you think they are going to send into battle first?”
++++++
A navy officer on a submarine doing his first inspection of a submarine noticed something odd...
There was what looked like
a frying pan handle sticking out of the floor of the sub! The officer did some
more looking around, and saw more strange things sticking out of the floor:
golf clubs, clothes irons, car bumpers, and even half a bicycle!
Alarmed by this, he went up to the sub commander’s office and asked what this
was all about. The commander explained to him that due to cost cutting efforts,
this particular submarine was built using extensive amounts of recycled metal.
The officer, still not understanding, replied, “But they did such a terrible
job! I can still see shoddy bits of the original material all around the ship!”
The captain smiled sadly with a knowing look and said, “Son, that’s just the
irony of this sub... **this whole thing is a joke**”
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