Grateful JOW #1262

 It is normal to reflect on events and our current status at the end of the year. Although this year, like all years, has had its ups and downs, overall things are pretty good, especially by comparison.  Think about 2020 for example.  I can distinctly remember people complaining about how bad things were in the 1990’s.  Now they look back with nostalgia for those times.  All it will take is some actual bad things to happen for us to realize how good we have it right now.  So, I am grateful for all the things I still have.  Of course, the thing I’m most grateful for right now is elastic waistbands.  I must have been dreaming of a ‘wide’ Christmas. Here are some jokes about gratitude.  And I want to say thank you to all the people who walked into my life and made it outstanding, and all the people who walked out of my life and made it fantastic.

 

·         Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.

 

·         A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one.

 

·         Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.

 

·         If you can’t be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped.

 

·         The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.

 

·         Even though we can’t have all we want, we ought to be thankful we don’t get what we deserve.

 

·         God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.

 

·         If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get. 

 

How do generals show their gratitude to their troops?

They give tanks.

 

After breast enlargement surgery, serenaded her plastic surgeon with the old Bob Hope theme: "Thanks for the mammaries."

 

I received a mind-controlled calculator for Christmas.  Not the greatest present but it’s the thought that counts.

 

A scientist finds a crashed alien spaceship

An alien is still alive, and the scientist helps him fix the spaceship so the alien can go back home.
As a sign of gratitude, the alien tells the scientist that he will answer him a single question, whatever it is or however it's formulated. As the alien was about to take off, the scientist finally comes up with a question.
"What is the best question that I could possibly ask you in this situation and what is the answer to it?", the scientist asked.
"The best question is the one you just asked, and the answer to it is the one I just gave you", says the alien and flies away

 

A Swedish man goes to a job interview. The interviewers are really impressed by how professional he is.

"Wow! You have an amazing resume, and you present yourself very well, but you seem to be missing four years on this part of your resume, what happened there?" asked an interviewer.

"Oh, sure, that’s when I went to yale" says the man’

The interviewers are even more impressed and offer him a job on the spot. The man shows his gratitude by saying "Thank you for the yob."

 

An old couple enters a cafe in Normandy, overlooking the beach.

The couple are clearly tourists, and when the couple sits down at a table the waitress noticed that the old man is missing a part of his leg. Curious, the waitress approaches them and decides to ask why.
After asking the question the old woman answers, stating that her husband fought in the war and lost his leg and most of his hearing on the beach not far from here during the landing at Normandy.
Upon hearing this the waitress rushes to the kitchen without taking their order only to show up again moments later with a laden service tray and starts to put sandwiches, pancakes, cakes as well as two cups of coffee on the table. Confused the elderly lady tells the waitress that they didn't order this and don't have enough money with them to pay for all of this.
"Don't worry miss, I spoke with my boss and since your husband lost his leg while fighting here in the war all of this is free."
The woman smiles in gratitude and leans towards her husband to repeat what the waitress just said directly into his ear after which he starts smiling as well, shakes the waitress her hand in gratitude and says:
"Vielen dank, das ist sehr nett von dir!"

 

And finally.

A little old lady sold pretzels on the street corner for fifty cents each. Every day, a young lawyer would exit his office building at lunch, and as he passed her pretzel stand, he'd leave two quarters. However, he never took a pretzel.
This went on for nearly five years.
Even though they never spoke, every day he'd leave fifty cents, they'd make eye contact, and she would nod her gratitude as he walked away without a pretzel.
Finally one day, as the lawyer passed her stand and laid down his two quarters, the pretzel woman spoke to him.
"Sir, I appreciate your business. You are my best customer, but you need to know something. The price of pretzels has gone up to seventy-five cents."