Olympian JOW

As some of you know Ruth is starting college this week down at the University of Texas Pan America. This means I am now married to a hot college co-ed; well hot in flashes anyway. There is a joke that goes: What are you going to be when you get out of school? Old! Well Ruth has a head start on that already. She is looking forward to her adventure as she starts her training as a Physician’s Assistant.
I have a couple of Olympics based jokes but frankly the Olympics aren’t all that funny, so this JOW morphed into some Irish jokes.

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While walking through the Olympic Village...
A reporter meets a man carrying a long fiberglass pole and asks, “Are you a pole vaulter?” “No,” says the man, “I’m German. But how did you know my name is Walter?”

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman attended The Olympic Games as spectators, but failed to get tickets for the main stadium.
The Englishman took a cannonball and got in by saying, 'I'm representing England in The shot.'
The Scotsman took a long pole and got in by saying, 'I'm representing Scotland in The pole vault.'
The Irishman took half a dozen stakes and three rolls of barbed wire and said to the official, 'I'm representing Ireland in fencing.'

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The French, German, and Irish fencers are arguing over who is the best in their sport.
The Frenchman pulls out his foil: “I will show you all!” He targets a fly buzzing around, and with one swipe of his blade, the fly falls to the ground, cut neatly in half. The German smiles. He locates another fly, and with two swipes, it falls to the ground, its wings neatly removed. Now it’s the Irishman’s turn. Lifting his foil, he takes three swipes at a fly, which flutters off, undisturbed. The others laugh, but the Irishman holds up his hands.
“That fly,” he says, “will never procreate again.”
…………………………………
Q: How is playing the bagpipes like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
A: You don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.

And here are some good old Irish jokes from Tom

Paddy & Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station.
Mick: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
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Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet.
Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".
Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".

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Paddy was driving home, drunk as a skunk, suddenly he has to swerve to avoid
a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over as he veers about all over the road. Paddy tells the cop about all the trees in the road. Cop says "For God’s sake Paddy, that's your air freshener swinging about!"

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Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
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Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning. I can't break her out of it.
Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time?
Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home.