That Said It JOW

Normally I have a dog-related theme for the dog days of summer when Sirius, the Dog Star was believed to be closest to the earth, thus causing the hottest part of the year. However Tor suggested I use some quotes for the basis of my JOW. Since he is a Pinney and thus not only good looking but highly intelligent (and of course very modest) I decided to follow his advice.
One problem with quotations is that attribution can be a tricky problem, especially since the development of the Internet, as illustrated by this quotation:
• “The Internet now allows knaves to effortlessly promulgate exaggerations, propaganda, and outright lies to a much wider audience of credulous fools.” ~Benjamin Franklin
So here are some quotations for your amusement.
• Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. ~ Albert Einstein
• A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. ~Robert Frost
• It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. ~Steven Weinberg
• I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. ~ Thomas Alva Edison
• If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error. ~John Kenneth Galbraith

Mark Twain had many quotable comments. Most are powerfully cynical
• Truth is the most powerful thing we have – thus we must economize it.
• One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
• What would men be without women? Scarce, sir … mighty scarce.
And speaking of women, here are a few other quotes
• Women will forgive anything. Otherwise, the race would have died out long ago. ~ Robert A. Heinlein
• Sometimes I think the very survival of our species has resulted from the poor decisions of women ~ Thos. Pinney
• Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done. ~ Carl Friedrich Gauss while working, when informed that his wife is dying

Of course the most prolific source of quotes is a toss-up between Mr. Unknown and Mr. Anonymous

• Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.
• God grant me the serenity to accept that people are ignorant, the courage to uphold the law when I’m hostile, & the wisdom to realize that murder is illegal.
• Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts, while others come into our lives and make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
• Arguing about whether the glass is half full or half empty misses the point, which is this: the bartender cheated you.
• Two thirds of Americans can't do fractions. The other half, just don't care.

Comedians are another rich source of quotes since most of their jokes are only a line or two, but these three stick in my mind because there are both true and funny.

• A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. ~ George Carlin
• All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. ~Jane Wagner
• After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. ~P.J. O'Rourke
Ashleigh Brilliant is a British cartoonist and author who is a rich source of great quotes these days. Here is a brief sample.
• To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first. And, whatever you hit, call it the target.
• I try to take it one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
• Some of the worst things I have done have probably been forgotten by everyone except me.
• We must have courage, faith… and lunch together sometime soon.
• I have abandoned my search for truth and am now looking for a good fantasy.
• Some battles can only be won by never letting them happen.
• My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right
• It's human to make mistakes and some of us are more human than others.
• It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
And finally another Ashleigh quote which applies to all the readers of the Joke of the Week
• What good is a superior mind without other superior minds to communicate with?