Spring Chicken JOW #1277

I wanted to have an Easter themed JOW but I really don’t know that many good Easter jokes.  For such a joyous event there just isn’t much humor.  You really need pathos or something ridiculous to spark some humor.  Bunnies and chicks are a big part of Easter, and I do know a few jokes about those things, especially chickens.  Chickens are essentially absurd, and they are the butt of one of the oldest and worst jokes around, ‘why did the chicken cross the road’.  My research revealed the earliest known version of the joke was published in the 1847 edition of the New York Magazine.  Oh, and to answer the eternal question, why did the chicken cross the road? To knock knock on a door, walk into a bar and change a light bulb.

 

Some bunny jokes

Why did the Easter egg hide? Because it was a little chicken.

How does the Easter Bunny stay in shape? Egg-ercise.

Why did the rabbit cross the road? Because it was the chicken’s day off.

What do you call ten rabbits marching backward? A receding hare-line.

How do you catch the Easter Bunny? Hide in a bush and make a  noise like a carrot.

What do you get if you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A hot cross bunny.

Why does the Easter Bunny love donuts? Because they’re egg-cellent.

What kind of music do bunnies like? Hip-hop.

How do bunnies stay cool during the summer? Hare conditioning.

Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road? The chicken had his eggs.

 

Which lead to ‘why did the chicken cross the road’ jokes. 

·         Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

·         Why did the chicken join a band?

Because it had the drumsticks.

·         Why did the chicken go to the seance?

To talk to the other side.

·         Why did the duck cross the road?

To prove it wasn't chicken.

·         Why did Chicken Little cross the road?
To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling.

·         Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.

·         Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.

·         Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.

·         Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.

·         Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.

·         Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

·         Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.

·         Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

·         Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from Colonel Sanders.

·         Why did the chicken cross the road? 

Because this is AMERICA, and he can go anywhere he wants.

·         Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because the chicken wasn't around yet

·         Why did the chicken cross the road? 

To show the armadillo it could be done.

 

Why the Chicken Crossed the Road

A Poetic Inquiry

Beneath the sky so vast and wide,

A chicken walked with quiet pride.

Across the road, with steps so bold,

A mystery began to unfold.

Why did it leave its cozy nest,

And take its journey, east to west?

Was it for grains on the other side,

Or perhaps a sense of rising tide?

Did it hear a call from far away,

A distant cluck, a soft relay?

Or was it merely a quest to know,

What lay beyond, what paths to show?

Perhaps it sought a friend to greet,

Another fowl with whom to meet.

Or did it sense, with heart so keen,

A world unseen, a place serene?

We wonder still, we ask in vain,

This simple fowl, it hides no pain.

It crossed the road, and left us here,

To ponder life, to question, to cheer.

So let us walk our paths with grace,

Like that brave bird, in search of space.

For roads are meant for us to tread,

To find our dreams, and forge ahead.

 

Let me wrap up with a few off-theme bits.

It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my universal remote control did not in fact control the universe.
Not even remotely.

 

A man walked up to his friend looking sad.

“Somebody stole my thesaurus!” he groaned, “and my dictionary to boot!”
His friend put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and gives him a soft smile and says, “How sorrowful my dear companion that such a lamentable circumstance has befallen you. I will pray that the perpetrator be swiftly apprehended!”

 

Did you know cyan is the best color?

it's cyantifically proven.

 

What’s the best part about dating a homeless chick?

You can drop her off anywhere

 

And finally, here is a religiously themed joke left over from last week.

Two young boys became best friends.  One was a Catholic and one a Baptist.  The boys began to ask questions about one another’s religions.

“We Baptists can pray right to God,” one boy explained. 

“Well, we Catholics have a priest for that.”

“Does the priest pray right to God?”

“No, I think he prays to the bishop.”

“Does the bishop pray right to God?”

“No, he probably prays to the cardinal.’

“Does the cardinal pray to right to God?”

“No, he prays to the Pope.  And the Pope prays right to God.”

“So, the Pope must be Baptist.”